Because I'm fond of quizzes and because my long-suffering Editor advanced his deadline on me on account of the Nyepi holidays I offer up this, the first ever "Quiz Idiosyncraticus", with the emphasis on nothing in particular but whatever comes to mind in a stream of trivia and the pressure of a deadline. I humbly offer it in the hope that it may amuse, educate and edify. Performance ratings and answers may be found below.
But be warned, all is not as it seems. This quiz has been cunningly devised with the aid of the "Ascended Masters", whose servant I am and for whom I have served as a channel, and will unerringly reveal the hidden depths of your personality. It is therefore not to be undertaken lightly. I also humbly suggest that you resist the temptation to peek or cheat, if you know what's good for you - metaphysically speaking that is. For those intrepid and questing souls who would venture further, rest assured that the lower or more average your score the more psychologically sound and successful in life you are liable to be. If you score over 90% you are probably pretty weird and almost certainly unemployable.
1. What is Rolfing?
a) being violently sick
b) an invasive form of bodywork
c) rocking back and forth while laughing
d) a rowing technique introduced in the Helsinki Olympics of 1951
2. What is a Maenad?
a) a frenzied flesh-eating woman and/or New Age salesperson
b) a member of the coterie of gay men or groupies fiercely devoted to the person of Mae West
c) a classic and aggressive chess manoeuvre
d) a sub-atomic particle
3. Who or what is "Ortega y Gasset"?
a) a popular Argentinean motoring magazine, particularly for the sale of 2nd hand cars
b) a cult Spanish motor bike popular in the 1930's and with collectors today
c) the leading sanitary ware manufacturer in Iberia & Latin America
d) the early 20th Century Spanish philosopher, who wrote "The Revolt of the Masses" and other important works
4. What does the word "louche" mean?
a) sultry, luscious & lovely
b) disreputable, shifty & squinting
c) sophisticated, fashionable & quick-witted
d) something to do with women's hygiene
5. Who or what is Mazda?
a) a make of Japanese car
b) a make of electric light bulb
c) an ancient Persian God
6. Who or what is Ulna?
a) a goddess of Norse mythology, their equivalent of Aphrodite
b) a river in Bessarabia, where Napoleon concluded a treaty with the Russian Tsar against the Austrian Emperor in 1809
c) a bone in the inner ear
d) bone in the forearm
7. Who or what is the Demiurge?
a) a lesser Gnostic god and creator of Earth
b) a half-hearted attempt
c) a compulsion to commit evil
d) sexual addiction
8. What is or was a "Quango?"
a) a fruit hybrid, the cross between a mango and the quince apple
b) the actual word according to the Synoptic Gospel said by Jesus to St Peter on the Appian Way as he was escaping Nero's persecution of the Christians. He immediately returned to Rome and martyrdom
c) a quasi non-governmental organisation
d) a rock version of the quadrille and the tango as seen in the Nicaraguan cult movie "Hola Hombres!" starring Bianca Jagger.
9. What is Monism?
a) an economic theory developed at the University of Chicago in the 1950's
b) a refractory misalignment in the focus of the eye
c) the doctrine that only one Supreme Being exists
d) a mutual form of onanism
10. Who or what was "Herodotus"?
a) a celebrated Graeco-Jewish historian from Halicarnassus living in the 1st C. BC
b) the name of the last play in blank verse written by Oscar Wilde, illustrated by Aubrey Beardsley and only once performed on stage in Paris in 1903 with Sarah Bernhardt as Zuleika
c) the son of Herod the Great, who the Bible tells us, was eaten by worms
d) A Ptolemaic Egyptian Priest/King, and great-grandfather to Cleopatra
11. What does the phrase "pis aller" mean?
a) to rudely tell someone to "go away" in French
b) the worst case scenario or last resort
c) to go on a drunken spree (Eng. vulgar)
d) an urgent need to urinate (Eng. very vulgar)
12. What is "Lebensraum"?
a) "Love Room" in German, or honeymooner's bedroom in Bavarian country inns. Alternatively, an oda or harem's room.
b) the desire to travel and roam the world, or wanderlust even
c) "The Dream of Laban", a mediaeval German text set to music in the 20th C. by Carl Orff
d) the Nazi concept post-1933 to justify territorial aggrandisement in Europe
13. Who or what can be described as "Manx"?
a) a tailless mammal
b) an Australian TV crime series from the 1960's
c) a word of London/Essex slang denoting something dull and 'old hat'
d) absolutely anything or anybody coming from the Isle of Man
e) the name of an 60's "adult" comic strip in the US about the erotic and political adventures of a peripatetic tom cat
14. What do you understand by the phrase "Greater Coniunctio"?
a) a Freudian way of saying multiple orgasm
b) how Nietzsche defined the state of being required to become Superman
d) the Jungian and alchemical theory of the archetypal union of opposites
e) the connective part between the ascending colon and the ileosacral valve
15. What is "The Archimedes Screw"?
a) an ancient means of water irrigation, invented by Archimedes of Syracuse in the 2ndC. BC and still in use today
b) underhand business dealing, erroneously attributed to Archimedes because he was an inhabitant of Syracuse, whose citizens were notorious for sharp practices throughout the Ancient World
c) a "hold" in ancient Greek wrestling, introduced to the Olympic games by Syracuse and the other Sicilian Greek cities, which the Ionians felt to be unfair
d) title of the book by William Burroughs, banned for obscenity in the US and UK but published in the 1950's in Paris by the Olympia Press
e) a viciously potent cocktail invented by the owner of Harry's Bar in Venice in honour of the 1950's playboy Porfirio Rubirosa's double whammy in winning the Mille Miglia and becoming engaged to starlet Linda Christian
16. What is Arianism?
a) a type of esoteric magic or Red Tantra practised by the 6th Dalai Lama in 13thC. Tibet before his deposition for deviant behaviour, and subsequent murder
b) the physics of human flight as illustrated and described in the Notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci
c) the Nazi philosophy of the Master Race as set out by Hitler in "Mein Kampf"
d) a 4thC. Christian heresy taught by Arius of Alexandria, which denied the divinity of Christ
e) a term of contempt coined by the people of Milan, who were fans of Renata Tebaldi, to describe her archrival and co-Diva, Maria Callas
17. What is a Hierophant?
a) a pompous or credulous person or, a puffed-up silly New Age person
b) someone who always believes things were better in the past. Nostalgia for a bygone age (hier. fr.)
c) the ancient Egyptian term for the Pharaoh's eldest son or successor
d) an accepted interpreter of sacred or esoteric mysteries
18. What is a Pantheist?
a) the definition in clinical psychiatry for a person with a fetish for underclothes
b) a belief in the Divinity of Nature and acceptance of all Gods
c) a follower of the 3rdC. AD Alexandrine neo-Platonist philosopher, Pantheus, an early proponent of cosmic expansion
d) a follower of the philosophy originated by the Teutonic Knights, later espoused by Frederick The Great and by the Prussian Junker, holding that "Might is Right"
19. What is Psychosynthesis?
a) the process by which plants use sunlight to derive energy
b) a system of transpersonal psychology introduced by the great 20thC. Italian psychologist, Roberto Assaglioli
c) the theory of psychiatric healing whereby plants are used to pacify and inspire mental patients and or analysands, first introduced by C.G. Jung in the 1920's
d) a pathological psychiatric condition whereby sufferers believe they are becoming omnipotent, commonly known as BS, or the Bonaparte Syndrome
20. Who or what is a Fenian?
a) a London cockney (what other kind is there?), or someone who can't say Athenian properly
b) a genus of highly venomous snake found in S.America
c) term for a hooligan, a street brawling drunkard or political agitator
d) the ancient Irish, or 19thC. Irish freedom fighter against the British
21. What does the word "picaresque" mean?
a) sweet and hauntingly beautiful
b) sharp, witty and ironic humour
c) writing in the style of Picarus, the 14thC. Italian writer from Pisa in the Courtly Love tradition, various of whose plots were later used by Shakespeare in his plays
d) fiction style recounting the episodic adventures of rogues and other low fellows
22. What does "chthonic" mean?
a) relating to the underworld or the primaeval feminine
b) an adjective invented by Camille Paglia in her book "Sexual Personae" to describe the vampirical, homicidal, cannibalistic, and the pathological matriarchal aspects of the female psyche
c) the grammatical term for the running together of consonants
d) a person who is very stupid
23. Which is the correct definition of "Orphism"?
a) a specific sexual perversion, which I am not at liberty to divulge, first practised by high-born society women in Vienna during the latter years of the Austro-Hungarian Empire involving the degradation of men
b) the above is something I made up, but wish were true......
c) true or untrue, the above definition is something you wish were true.......
d) followers of the legendary Thracian, Orpheus; or a reformed and cleaned-up worship of the Great God Bacchus and the Dionysian revels
e) a chronic medical condition whereby a sufferer constantly hears music
24. What does the phrase "Yasou Nafti!" mean?
a) "Pretty Camel!" in Arabic
b) "Hark! the Reindeer' in Finnish
c) "My Mother's arms" in Basque
d) "The End is Nigh!" in ancient Mayan
e) "Hello Sailor!" in modern Greek
On that note I will bid you farewell, strong in the knowledge that the channelled wisdom of the sages encrypted within our Quiz, as it is, has been, and may be again, shall have wrought even an infinitesimal degree of self-knowledge to a thirsting world.
Personality Ratings:
1 - 5 : I'm not sure you should be allowed out unescorted.
6 - 10 : You are a well-rounded personality. You and people like you should rule the world and probably do.
11 - 15 : You are an intelligent and well-educated personality, what more can I say?
16 - 20 : You might be getting a bit weird, Hi There!
21 -23 : You are weird.
24 out of 24 : I'm not sure you should be allowed out unescorted.
