Good Provider or Irresponsible Bastard?
Where Do you Stand as you Face the “Male Menopause”.......?
Some men just never grow up. Some women might go further than that and say most men never grow up. Without getting involved in a gender debate, it is true to say that some men remain “players” well into their 50’s and sometimes beyond. By which I mean they retain their youthful looks and attitude, are active and usually take part in some form of sport or other. They are “out there”, often dating women 15 or even 30 years their junior. Their hair may thin or recede and get tinged with a grey, their faces may look a bit well-used, but essentially they behave and act as if they were still in their 30’s. To most other men, men such as these are irresponsible bastards.
But for most of us it’s not like this at all. We are pear-shaped not wedge-shaped. Somewhere in our 40’s our faces flatten and join our necks, with a few jowls and chins thrown in for good measure. Our waists thicken, we carry saddle bags and wear a paunch. We often can’t see our toes let alone anything else below the belt. And as for sexual libido, that increasingly becomes an effort or a distant memory. We often become depressed and lose interest in life in general. We may feel that life has either passed us by or wonder if it has anything left in store for us. Such men as this are usually family men and good providers. Their children are long gone from the nest and they are now left with their partner to work out what if anything they still have in common and if they have a life together.
Of course I over-simplify, we are not all one or the other and there are all kind of graduations between the Irresponsible Bastard and the Good Provider. Have a look, see where you are. More to the point, see where you’d like to be......
Acting Erratic......
In the light of such a dismal prospect is it any wonder that so many men start to act a little erratically some time in their 40’s? It’s not something new. Banker Paul Gauguin abandoned wealth and family to live and paint in Tahiti. Charles Dickens married a 16-year old girl, Jerry Lee Lewis married his.....and so on. Men suddenly start violently exercising, at considerable danger to themselves, or start wearing the most ridiculous clothes. They have affairs with younger women or run off and marry them. They junk their careers, dye their hair or get a rug.
Welcome to the Male Menopause!
The Mid-Life Crisis or what is now clinically called the Andropause.
For women the equivalent process is quite clear, as they lose their reproductive function. For men there is nothing so clearly defined. It is more gradual and subtle, with few immediate outward symptoms and none of the hot flushes. In fact many doctors used to deny there was any such thing as a ‘male menopause’. It was all part of the normal process of aging and you could expect to deteriorate from your 40’s onward. Best get used to it and do it with grace and dignity. Of course this was a little more acceptable in the good/bad old days before the sexual emancipation of women and ‘youth’ culture livened things up, when almost all men in their 40’s looked as if they were 60 anyway.
A variant of this is God’s Will, or the psychological process of individuation. First we are children and learn, then young men and strive to make our way. Concurrently we marry and raise a family, and then we go into the forest to find God. Finally we re-emerge from the forest and share what we’ve found. The psychological approach is more or less identical. In the first half of our lives we get enough life under our belt doing things, then as the estrogen mounts and the testosterone abates we become more feminine and go in search of our anima, hopefully finding who we are and our place in the mystery along the way. Actually the approach is a profound one. Once you start out on the passage of self-enquiry and self-knowledge you are embarked on the greatest journey of all. It may not be easy, but it’s free and open to everyone of a certain age and whatever else you may become, you need never be bored. Or even worry what you look like, though you’d be surprised how often that takes care of itself once you “find yourself”, as it were.
But I Want it All.......!
Well, this is all very well but what if I want to find God, find myself and still be a reasonably fine figure of a man, with a decent figure, healthy libido and general enthusiasm for life? Can I not do it all?
Yes, actually you can.
Whether or not you make it as a realised being (may you travel well and far), there is a lot you can do to ward off the ravages of the Andropause. But before we get into that, what is it anyway?
For all us of it is downhill from our 20’s onward. 100,000 years ago 20 was old. As men we had already served our prime biological function and though our world has changed our bodies haven’t. Our cells die faster than they replace and our hormones decline precipitously between the ages of 20 and 50. This combination of cellular and hormonal decline is what ages us, steals our faculties, sickens and eventually kills us. Somewhere in our mid-30’s we start to notice we are not indestructible and are in fact beginning to age. It is the hormonal decline that is directly responsible for what is now called the andropause. The good news is that we can not only delay aging by slowing down the process of cellular decline but we can also restore youthful hormonal levels and function in a variety of ways.
The problem is that antiaging is a very new and inexact science. When it comes to our hormones we are all different and the subject is enormously complex. Our endocrine (hormonal) system regulates our entire body. Endocrinologists now know enough to intervene if we are sick from hormonal imbalance, but it is a high risk game with trade-offs. That is why most doctors are extremely wary mucking about with the hormonal system of someone who is not clinically unwell.
The main culprits for male menopause are the increase of estrogen and the decrease in testosterone. But other important hormones come into play. Decreased levels of DHEA, melatonin, growth hormone (GH), pregnenolone and increased cortisol, the stress hormone. All of these can and often do have the affect of slowing your metabolism, causing obesity and low energy, decreased muscle, lowered libido, diminished cognitive function and sense of well being, often leading to depression.
Testosterone, Hero & Villain
The simplest way of preventing these undesirable effects is to maintain youthful levels of testosterone. However too much testosterone is dangerous and can cause prostate cancer among other things. There are also two forms of testosterone, “bound” and “free”. Bound testosterone is the one you don’t want. It can do nasty things to your prostate. But free testosterone is the one which will re-invigorate your life. It can increase muscle mass, elevate mood, increase energy and libido and all those good things, just so long as you get it right. Otherwise, it too can bite you.
Having sounded a clear warning about playing around with your hormone levels I believe that many of us can and should benefit from various forms of hormonal treatment. There are simple and safe things you can do right away. Unless you have prostate cancer you can take 25mg to 50mg of DHEA a day. You can also take 1 to 3mg of melatonin each night before bedtime (time-release is best).
Before you do any more than that, you must get your hormone levels tested. Of particular importance would be the level of free testosterone. This is probably the key thing to address if you have a mind to. If it is low you should seriously consider testosterone supplementation transdermally through a cream or patch. If you do this you must find a good doctor to work with and do regular blood work. Be wary of so called ‘rejuvenation’ clinics, which are really just pampering shops to pump women’s faces full of botox and collagen. For this you want a real endocrinologist, not some ‘gynie’ parachuting in from Australia or SE Asia, who thinks he can make more loot in cosmetic medicine and GH shots.
If You’re Gonna Do It, Do it Right!
Beauty, as they say, comes from within, and not just a face job. It really does, it just shines through. I was appalled recently when I saw what the cosmetic surgeon’s art had wrought with the visage of those beautiful women, Angie Dickinson, Mary Tyler Moore and Faye Dunnaway, it wasn’t Whacko Jacko quite, but it wasn’t a happy sight. A healthy lifestyle, unstressed mind and the smart use of nutritional supplements for disease prevention and antiaging will do more for any woman or man’s appearance and state of mind than any amount of collagen, botox shots, dermabrasion, or GH injections and what have you. These things are expensive and have to be repeated regularly. They make a very nice business for someone, and that’s how you should evaluate them. I do not say you shouldn’t tweak things a bit if you’ve got the money and a mind to. I’m just saying do it right. It’s the only face you’ve got. Know what the score is and check out carefully who you’re dealing with and act accordingly. If the “clinic’” just offers the cosmetic services and ignores all other aspects of optimum health, then you know where their bread is buttered.
Candy, it Ain’t!
Growth Hormone is not candy. It’s the most powerful anabolic hormone known to science. Even with the best controls to define those who need it, it has repeatedly proved toxic. Dr Michael Colgan, of the cutting edge San Diego-based Colgan Clinic and one of the most respected authorities anywhere on antiaging, strongly warns against injecting GH. “It whacks the pancreas gland”, he says. It’s been shown to lead to pancreatic disease, pancreatitis, hyperglycemia, insulin-resistence and full blown adult-onset diabetes. It also causes high incidence of carpal tunnel syndrome, fluid retention and joint pain. “There are”, he says, “far easier and cheaper ways to increase your GH than by shooting up IGF-1. Exercise and DHEA will do it nicely with no toxicity and side-effects”.
Also of highly questionable efficacy are the various growth hormone (GH) sprays purveyed on the net, through multi-level marketing and by doctors who should know better.Though they are more likely to damage your wallet than you, containing as they do homeopathic levels of amino acids. They are almost without exception expensive rip-offs, sometimes costing as much as US$130. The only immediate way you can get GH is via injection and, as we’ve seen medical opinion is sharply divided whether this is safe or not. For anti-aging purposes it is questionable to say the least. You can generate your own GH naturally and cheaply through exercise, DHEA and via amino acids. Amino acids, though safe, are a complicated and laborious way of doing it, really only for serious athletes and gym hounds.
Whatever you do, a good lifestyle is where it’s all at.
Exercise is key. It actually increases the production of all the hormones you want. It reduces body fat, increases muscle, energy and elevates mood. But you got to do it right. Unless you get out of your comfort zone and push yourself a bit further each session you don’t get the full benefits. It means resistance as well as aerobic exercise. A reasonably diligent practice of Yoga or Qi Gong can do it too, and more.
Eating the right food also has many of the same good effects. Scoffing junk food is intrinsically depressing and that’s what you’ll feel. Lastly, seriously consider getting a really good multi nutritional supplement containing all the necessary vitamins, minerals and phyto-nutrients in dosages high enough to do you any good. Spend some time researching this as most of the stuff being sold out there is overpriced rubbish or just not at therapeutic levels.
If you’ve got “the blahs”, lack energy and motivation, try 500mg of L-Tyrosine 2 x per day before mid-afternoon, If you’ve got the Blues try, 50 mg of 5-HTP or 500 mg of Tryptophan 2 x p/day. These are all harmless natural supplements and often work better than anti-depressant drugs and without the nasty side effects.
