The spiritual path is full of snare and delusion. Anyone
who ever read “Pilgrim’s Progress” knows
that. Anyone who even thinks about such things almost
certainly will say to themselves “I know that”.
Which is to say, they don’t, not really. It’s
like a game of snakes and ladders. The further along you think
you are, the further you have to fall and then you begin to
see you haven’t even begun. And that is a beginning.
Before I go on, I’d better say what I mean by Spiritual
Path.
Boiled down to the stark essentials, I see it very simply
as the process of seeking and gaining self-knowledge, and
then aligning your particular combination of molecules with
the mystery that is the Cosmos, as best you can at any one
moment in time. The process does not end, you do not arrive,
it is endless. For Cosmos or Mystery you can certainly read
God if you prefer. To be on such a path does not require adherence
to any religion, psychology or philosophy. Any of these can
help or hinder you on the path, depending on how you use them.
Self-knowledge is hard come by. It doesn’t come by following
a set of principles or creed, however admirable or desirable
its tenets. It doesn’t come from outside you. It comes
from within.
The human quest for self-knowledge dates back far back into
the mists of time. As long ago as 1,600 BC the oracle at Delphi
carried the exhortation on the cave wall, “Know Thyself!”
it read. Mystics, certain of the saints and most sages down
the ages, from Socrates to C.G. Jung have all sought and urged
self-knowledge. “Everything that irritates us about
others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves”,
says Jung. I can resonate with that, as I’m sure many
of you do too.
So for those of you who either never had any faith to begin
with, or abandoned the faith of your fathers and who now have
found another faith that is more congenial, just know that
it doesn’t make a lot of difference. The faith you now
have found may or may not help you toward self-knowledge,
it altogether depends what you do with it. If you seriously
believe that by being upwardly mobile or adept in one set
of precepts (or any personal syncretic amalgam you’ve
come up with) makes you further along the path than an absolute
beginner, is almost sure to be deceiving themselves.
How easy it is to look down on those who are not as far along
as we believe ourselves to be. With what compassionate contempt
do we regard our fellow travellers, who haven’t put
in the time we have. Is not that Pharaseeism pure and simple,
reeking of smugness and self satisfaction? In fact the minute
you catch yourself feeling any such thing - Go Lie Down!
You now have a wonderful opportunity for learning. That is
if you catch yourself. The second you do and know you are
nowhere, you have taken a giant step along the path.
Look around and observe. That person who really is incorporating
Buddhist principles into his or her life in a practical way
that you admire. A person who performs all manner of kind
and thoughtful actions but from time to time behaves in such
a mean and spiteful way that it shocks you. Until that is
you spot the pattern. Such a person will have a harder time
than most in letting in the truth. After all, an advanced
soul does not behave like that. Or that little angel of kindness
and light, who wants to help others but who takes on tasks
for which they are unsuited. When it turns out badly, it is
unlikely that this good and kind person will see their part
in the bad result. Much more likely they’ll see the
fault in others.
Welcome to the shadow! It is hard work trying to be something
you’re not. In fact it is a waste of time. Shadow erupts
wherever self-knowledge is not. Striving to be good, without
self-knowledge is likely to end in tears. The further along
you think you are, the more teachings you have absorbed....,
the smarter you become in co-opting the belief system to serve
yourself, is all. And the worst thing is, you have no idea
you’re doing it.
The danger is to mistake the means for the path. If you believe
that by faithfully following the precepts of an external belief
system, you will go to heaven or be realised you are, I’m
afraid, fooling yourself. The more you do this, the higher
you climb on this hierarchy of belief, the deeper into delusion
you are likely to be. Little more than devotees of dogma.
If however, you use the tenets of that belief system toward
the acquisition of self-knowledge, you are truly on your way. The
more mystical aspects of all religions re-inforce this. Concretisation
of belief, adherence to articles of faith, will almost certainly
get in the way.
So what if you are a miserable sinner? Shouldn’t you
try not to be? Well, let’s be a bit more specific here.
What miserable sin or sins exactly? OK, let’s say anger
and pride. They’re pretty good sins. Shouldn't you at
least try not to be such a nasty person? No, you should not,
because that is what you are. But, not all the time. It is
only a part of you. In other circumstances and other times
your ogre is not activated and you are modest, loving and
kind person. Baby psychology tells us, quite rightly, that
we should accept those parts of ourselves and not pathologise
them. Accept the shadow, receive the gifts it brings. After
all, you don’t have to indulge that aspect of your character,
do you? You can choose another. Some call that the aware ego.
But, you can only do that if you are aware of the disowned
parts of you. If you think you are a nice person, and that’s
what you strive to be, you are going to have a hard time of
it when you’re nasty. And we all are, from time to time.
How then are we to come by self-knowledge?
I’m afraid it is not easy. A long and rocky path in
fact. First of all you are unlikely to have it or need it
if you are under 40. The first part of life is for living
it and acquiring the raw material you need to have to work
with later. The first step is to see what is yours, not what
you have been brought up to be, what you think you ought to
be, whether that comes from parents, teachers, society or
dogmas you’ve picked up along the way. From there on
it requires going within. Meditating and getting in touch
with your unconscious in any way you can. Dreams are a good
way, correct use of the I Ching or Tarot are others. Watching
your projections and owning them really helps. Relationship
some say is the highest spiritual path of all and I can well
see why they might say that. It is in the quiet moments when
your mind is not running things that something will just pop
up and fall into place, giving you a massive piece of the
puzzle. The reason you never saw it before is that one day
long ago, for a very good reason, you made a conscious decision
about something that stopped you seeing what the unconscious
knew all along.
In conclusion and in case any of you reading this are asking
themselves who am I to be writing thus, and, if I can say
all this about others, where am I myself? Or even, who
the hell am I to point the finger? Good questions all. I can
only plead that I am not pointing fingers, I simply report
what I see, in the full understanding that observation carries
very definite spiritual dangers all of its own. Most particularly
a splendid excuse not to participate.
As for where I am with it all, I can only quote the late great
physicist Richard Feynman, who had this to say on the subject, “the
first principle is that you must not fool yourself.. and you
are the easiest person to fool”.
I’d say I’m struggling with the preliminary stages
of that.
