Objection to John Cleese’s USA Takeover Draws Flak
Alas, it seems you can. Or am I being had? Judge for yourself….
In my absence and in a slip of sanity, Alternative Voice’s
guest columnist last issue, was my visiting great uncle, Lt.Col.
Sir Henry Athelstan de Moseley, Bt., DSO, MC & Bar (or
Stan the Man as he was familiarly known by regiment, friends
and foe alike), whose spirited if choleric objection to John
Cleese’s circular announcing the revocation of American
independence and resumption of rule by Great Britain (see
BA,31 Jan) seems to have provoked the ire of reader A.C.,
who writes :
What a p**ck
I cannot believe that one of The parachute Regemant for whom
I have a very High regard, has written such a load of nonsense
about the John Clease and his Britain repossessing the USA.
who the hell wants it, in its present form. I dont know the
age of the author of this pityfull hands a cross the sea saga.
I come from a wartime era of people who actualy liked the
Americans, but they were Americans of a different ilk, although
it was said at the time they were over paid, oversexed and
over here. But they were Not like this namby pamby bunch that
you see wailing about 9/11 and terroroists in their midst.
We had Hitlers planes on our bloody doorsteps every night
in Manchester Leeds, Liverpool, Hull and London.
America has lost its way in the world. Its people could not
care less about the rest of the world and democracy. is what
thet say it is.
This parachute jumping moron which he must be, to leave a
perfectly good aeroplane and jump out of it, talks about Guantanamo,
that in itself is a disgrace to human rights, He then goes
on to talk about, Mr Clease should be greatful for haveing
a show on broadway for 30 years. Its taken the Yanks 30 years
to understand the humour, with a U.
Uncle Harry (seated Jeep front) with LRDG, N. Africa 1941
Another peice of paratropic nonsense is his own assumption
that the British Squadie is ever itching for a good scrap.
“Have you ever been in the army” ? If you have,
or you still are in the forces, you must be one of these Hooray
Henry’s from Sandhust who think they are in charge,
you are only in charge of the Bovine Excrement side of the
military, forget it mate, the warrant officers and none comisioned
lot are the main stays. The more I read your reply to Mr Clease
the more stupid your letter becomes, you put Tony Blair in
the same mould as old Winnie. As a famouse AMERCAN said, several
Times at Wimbledon. you cant be seriouse man.
A.C.
Bali, Indonesia
The recently returned ParacelsusAsia responds:
Aware or not, Mr. C. in his last quaint sentence, has it right.
I have to say I dread visits from certain members of my family.
I managed to escape to the most inaccessible of places and
in illuminating company and thin air of the mountains, was
able to sit out my uncle Harry’s visit. I am more than
a little relieved too, that my good friend the Abbot, through
some divine prescience was able to warn me of the presence
in Bali of my weird American cousin Mordecai, (CozMo we called
him as kids, so off-the-planet was he) and so delay my return.
Stuck in transit in Singapore I wiled away the time with George
MacDonald Frazer’s latest Flashy novel and happily,
by the time I was back, Cozmo had flapped off back to his
aerie in the Ventura Mountains. I have yet to discover what
mischief he has been up to, though I was alarmed to learn
that before leaving Uncle Harry had persuaded Cozmo to stand
in for him and pen thesecond column I had asked him to do
(see BA 14 Feb issue). Typically, that was the old bastard’s
last Parthian shot for my skipping town.
So I really must apologise most awfully to Mr. C. for the
rather perverse sense of humour of my great uncle, whom from
time to time does feel the urge to escape his small apartment
in Orde Wingate Mansions, Hove, and the loving attentions
of his housekeeper (and soon-to-be-wife), to return to his
old haunts and the diminishing band of his SOE chums in London.
I hope, in view of his age and service to the nation, his
eccentricities may be forgiven.
Though educ. Eton, Balliol and yes, RMC Sandhurst and his
first name is indeed Henry, Uncle Harry doesn’t exactly
fit the bill as a “Hooray Henry”, as Mr. C. would
have it. No, he has faced too many Courts Martial and near-cashierment
for that. In 1943 he sacrificed all chances of preferment
by his scandalous affair (and later marriage 1947, div.1962)
with Jesse Auchinleck, wife of his C-in-C in India, giving
birth to much merriment among the other ranks and coining
a new military misdemeanour “f***king in the face of
the enemy” (hence perhaps his shot about humour-in-the-face-of....,
etc.).
In fact, his military career only prospered to the extent
that it did because he served with distinction in such lethal
WW2 side shows as the Italian campaign in Abyssinia, North
Africa, the Dieppe Raid, Burma, and Yugoslavia, where his
superiors perhaps felt he might meet a convenient, if premature
end. Latterly he continued to serve with Special Forces in
Palestine, Kenya, Malaya, Cyprus, Oman, Sarawak and Aden.
Having retired from the SAS in 1967, he dyed his hair a remarkable
shade of blonde and tried without success in 1969 to re-enlist
in the Paras in a vain attempt to get to Ulster, but was spotted.
A man of many parts and interests he botched any chance of
putting his military career back on track by going absent
without leave in 1956 when seconded to Imperial Staff College
in order to complete his doctorate in tantric studies and
the 6th Dalai Lama at the Sorbonne. Only the intervention
of powerful friends allowed him to continue in the army at
all, until compulsorily retired aged 55. He subsequently led
a distinguished if chequered career in civilian life as Chairman
of Xenophon Solutions Inc., advising a number of African governments
and international corporations on security matters. Though
some say he was lucky to escape prosecution for engineering
various African coups in collusion with his nefarious crony
Tiny Tim Rowland of Lonhro.
As to his view of the NCO’s and soldiers with whom he
served “itching for a good scrap”, he undoubtedly
shared the Duke of Wellington’s opinion as to their
scariness, and they were without doubt as indisciplined and
murderous as he was. Such shared qualities transcend class
and education and they got along famously. So he and Mr C.
will have to differ as to that. Charming and psychopathic
as both admirers and detractors will attest, with political
views somewhere to the right of Attila the Hun, I nevertheless
suspect Mr. C. and the old rogue might actually get along
and have more in common than Mr. C. might suppose.
