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How much more productive are we individually today than we
were 40 years ago, I wonder? In many ways the increase must
be simply staggering. When I started out in Fleet Street in
the 60’s I did so on a sit-up and beg Standard typewriter,
tapping out my cubbish prose with six fingers. By late 60’s
the secretaries at least, had state-of-the art IBM golf ball
typewriters. Business was still conducted by post, which basically
meant any 2-way transaction would take a week to 10 days,
at best. Telephones were only used long distance, if important.
There was a strange machine called a telex for international
communication, which I never quite got the hang of, but was
fun seeing how couldst draft briefest. We still sent telegraphic
cables. Then fax machines came along, next the first dot matrix
memory typewriters with teensy memories and, come the 80’s,
the earliest PC’s followed by mobile ‘phones,
big as a brick. Most of us resisted each step of the way,
until dragged inexorably onward. Then of course, we wondered
how we ever got along without. By the early 90’s we
were recognisably into the information age, as we now know
it.
We certainly communicate a lot more. The amount of data we
lug around with us and have access to is prodigious. But is
the information useful and are we really any more productive,
as opposed to just busier? It doesn’t really feel like
it but, given the amount of wealth now created, I suppose
it must be so. There are probably as many billionaires now
as there were millionaires in the 1960’s and hopefully,
some of it filters down to the rest of us Drones of the Universe.
That, I guess, is the good part. Alas, the early promise of
a free “Commons” is betrayed, progressively chipped
away at by greedy businessmen and governments seeking to control
information. Also, not so good is how the internet allows
corporations and bureaucracies to con us that they are offering
a more efficient and personal service than they do. Websites
are not designed to inform us, they are designed to herd us
like cattle into a set number of boxes. Woe to us, if we don’t
fit! You can get lost in a cyberloop with no human solution
in sight, the only recourse, other than giving up, is to throw
yourself upon the tender mercies of an anonymous entity called
Customer Service. That is, if there is one.
Here are two experiences of our times.
If we’re Polite, we don’t actually have to do
anything...
I’ve held a Barclaycard VISA issued in the UK since
the 1970’s. I’ve used it regularly but not heavily.
18 months ago on a visit to the UK I found I couldn’t
use it without inputting additional information I didn’t
have. Since a year ago the same thing started happening here
in Asia. Result? I didn’t use the card. In March of
this year my statements started telling me my a/c was suspended
and that in addition to the monthly payments another larger
amount was being demanded despite the fact I was in good standing.
In March of this year I called Barclaycard Customer Service
and went online to register myself. What, I wanted to know
why my a/c was suspended? What was this other unknown sum?
And, how could I pay my monthly directly bank to bank from
overseas to avoid late charges?
The website approach has been totally ignored from that day
to this and each month I’ve received a letter from a
different individual customer services officer to say my enquiry
would be answered within a minimum of 10 days. Finally I actually
get an e.mail from a very helpful woman in July, who sorts
it all out...almost. Then she quits Barclays (fired for fraternising
with the customer, most like). I can use my card I’m
assured by Barclays. Only I can’t. Each time I’m
knocked back I’m assured yet again I can use the card
and.....and it gets knocked back yet again. Eventually I’m
informed “there’s been a decline”. What’s
a “decline” I ask. No one knows, or if they do,
no one will tell me. Then I’m told I could have used
the card, but I couldn’t because I didn’t, and
I couldn’t because it was suspended again because I
didn’t. You go figure. And that’s where I am right
now, with a BarclayCard Barclays Bank assure me I can use.
But they’re lying, I still can’t six months on.
We’re not set up for Death.....
Whatever you do, be sure and cancel your credit cards before
you die. Here’s the second true VISA experience, relayed
by a friend whose grandmother passed away this January. Citibank
billed his grandmother for the months February and March for
their annual service charges on her credit card, plus adding
late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance
had been $0.00. It was now somewhere around $60. My friend
places a call to Citibank. The exchange goes like this:
Grandson: “I am calling to advise you my grandmother
died in January.”
Citibank: “I see sir, I’m so sorry. However the
account was never closed, and the late fees and charges must
still apply.”
Grandson (caustically): “then maybe you should turn
it over to collections.”
Citibank: “Since it is 2 months past due, it already
has been.”
Grandson (curious): So, what will they do when they find out
she’s dead?”
Citibank: “Either report her account to frauds division
or report her to the credit bureau. Maybe both.”
Grandson (facetiously): “Do you think God will be mad
at her?”
Citibank: “Excuse me?”
Grandson (wearily): “Did you understand what I was telling
you? About her being dead, I mean?”
Citibank: “I see Sir, I think you’ll need to speak
to my supervisor.”
(Supervisor comes on the line):
Grandson: “I’m calling to tell you my grandmother
died in January.”
Citibank: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. However
the account was never closed, so the late fees and charges
still apply.”
Grandson: “Do you mean you want to collect from her
estate?”
Citibank: (cautious) “Are you her lawyer?”
Grandson: “No, I’m her grandson.”
Citibank: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”
Grandson: “Yes, why not, if it will help?”
After Citibank gets the fax they call back:
Citibank: “I’m sorry sir. it seems our system
isn’t set up for a death. I’m afraid I don’t
know what more I can do to help.”
Grandson: “Well, if you figure it out, good. If not,
you could just keep billing her I suppose. I really don’t
think she’ll mind.”
Citibank: “Well yes, the late fees and charges will,
of course, still have to apply.”
Grandson (helpfully): “Would you like her new billing
address?”
Citibank: “Thank you, yes. That will help.”
Grandson: “Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot
Number 69.”
Citibank: “Sir, that’s a cemetery.....”
Grandson: “Oh, very good..... I think we may be making
progress. Do tell me, what exactly do you do with dead people
on YOUR planet....?
