R.I.P. “Uncle Harry”, 1916-2007
a.k.a. Lt.Col. Sir Henry Athelstan de Moseley, Bt., DSO, MC
& Bar
As I predicted he might, it seems Mr. A.C. of Canggu, who
so violently objected to my Uncle Harry’s diatribe on
John Cleese (Alternative Voice, Feb 28), going so far as to
liken him to that most prominent part of masculine paraphernalia,
has now started to get the picture and warmed to the old sod.
Mr. C. took exception to my Great Uncle’s mock-serious
assault (AV, 31 Jan) on a half-funny circular purportedly
originating from John Cleese that did the etheric rounds recently
suggesting that the Americans had so botched things by electing
George W. Bush that they no longer merited independence and
that, in order to protect themselves and the world at large,
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, (almost an Oscar winner and
thus uniquely qualified by God and The Academy), would be
resuming sovereignty of British North America. Canada as a
responsible member of the Comity of Nations, would of course
retain full independence.
Mr. C. it seems took the bait and only relented when the apocryphal
life and exploits of “Uncle Harry” where related
and laid on thick.
Alas! Too late! It seems the old soldier has passed away,
or at any rate receded into the mists of that Valhalla where
such mythical warriors, spooks and berserks reside.
Mr.C. writes:
In Praise of Uncle Harry
“Well” I was correct about the Hurrah Henry, but
the gentleman certainly did have a very illustrious and colourful
military Career, looking at the photo of Uncle Harry in the
jeep, I would say he was a member of the long range desert
group, a most daring bunch.
Having perused his source of education “Eton”
I suppose General Auchinleck should be pleased that Uncle
Harry was one of the more sexually well adjusted Etonian’s
or perhaps the General himself could have been the victim
a rearguard action. Has uncle Harry written a book on his
exploits, if so I would like to read it.
Uncle Harry seems to be in a strata of the aristocracy, where
a sense of humour is on a par with that of Prince Charles
after he graduated from the Goon shows. For a man of such
daring I am at a loss to see why he holds the Yanks in such
High esteem. It would appear that uncle Harry’s military
prowess out ways the sense of humour which we of peasant stock
posses. The old gentleman must be Knocking on a bit by now
and so I will be magnanimous and forgive his terrade on John
Cleese.
As an ex quadie I also was guilty of the same misdemeanour
fornication in the face of the enemy, if you can’t fight
em !!!!
Best regards,
A.C., Canggu Bali
Enough already.....!
Sad to say I’ve decided it’s time Uncle Harry
passed away. The which he did, aged 92, upon his return to
Hove. He died peacefully in his sleep in the loving arms of
his housekeeper Doris, muttering softly “The camels,
the camels....”. His ashes are to be scattered in the
Empty Quarter and his final bequest is that a camel turd be
sent to the War Department. No flowers by request, however
should friends and admirers wish to show their respect donations
of offensive organic matter should be sent to Box 007, Ministry
of Defence, Whitehall. Old “Stan the Man”, as
he was fondly and unfondly known, will be denied an official
memorial service in the Guards Chapel to which he would normally
be entitled because someone in the MoD, whose job it is to
keep score of such things, has dug up the 65-year old military
blot of FITFOE (MoD parlance for F**king in the Face of the
Enemy), a military transgression to which Mr. C. it seems
also lays claim.
But to conclude, whether Mr.C. knows it or not he’s
right again. It was said the The Auk was a bit bent, as indeed
was his ultimate boss Mountbatten, not to mention Uncle Harry’s
immediate superior in East Africa and Burma, Orde Wingate,
a violent and murderous Christian zealot and Zionist if ever
there was one. I think it only fair to Mr.C. to say that I
rather suspect the old man was having us on. As an “equal
opportunity insulter” my Great Uncle was the least prejudiced
man I’ve ever known (or perhaps should say, invented),
in that he was appallingly creative in his abuse of everyone,
whatever their creed, colour or sexual orientation. “Whatever
gets ‘em going best”, was his motto. So for him
to have a kind word to say about the Americans and President
Bush did blow his cover rather, if I had not already done
so.
As for Uncle Harry being in any danger of “rearguard
action” as Mr. C. delicately puts it, I rather doubt
it. An inspired irregular, he was famed for the non-discriminatory
nature, speed and violence of his pre-emptive attacks from
both front and rear. It may be overstating it though, to say
he was sexually well adjusted, at least in conventional terms,
his appetites were far too catholic and opportunistic, bearing
in mind the time he spent in remote parts with his beloved
Bedouin. As for his sense of humour being Gooneresque à
la Prince Charles, I fear Mr.C. is well wide of the mark here,
it being of far too bizarre and sardonic nature for that.
And so, Farewell old Soldier. We shall not see thy like again.....
And that’s a promise!
Unless of course he rises from the dead in a work of fiction
as Mr. C. suggests. There’s plenty of ammunition as
Uncle Harry seems to have managed to have crammed an amazing
number of campaigns into his military career. Of course George
MacDonald Frazer has well trod the genre already with the
Flashman chronicles. However Flashy remains a slightly 2-dimensional
19thC. character and it may be the world needs a more appropriate
character suiting the violent and pathological psychology
of the 20th and 21st centuries.
In which case, it’s interminably true what they say,
old soldiers never die……
