You remember that movie Young Einstein? He plays his electric
guitar, gets an electric shock and his hair turns frizzy.
It isn’t true you know. If you get an electric shock
your hair doesn’t go frizzy. I have an electrician who
doesn’t have frizzy hair and you can’t tell me
he has never had an electric shock.
Nasty stuff electricity. All those little electrons shooting
around bits of wire at amazing speeds but they are secretive
little so and so’s, you can’t see them, they don’t
make a noise and, rather like jaws, they bite you on the bum
when you least expect it.
They can do you a nasty too. Remember that scene in James
Bond when 007 pushes a bloke into a bath and throws in an
electric fire, it’s true, as many a late housewife blow
drying her hair in the bath would testify if she could. Getting
into the bath on a cold winter’s night clutching your
favourite electric fire is not a good idea. The coroner’s
report is likely to find that you died of a “friendly
fire” incident.
Careless use of electrons can, as the American Military might
say, lead to an ongoing negative survival situation or, as
my father would say, kill you stone dead (I didn’t know
there were degrees of deadness).
Those little electrons can work up a sweat too. Electrons
like to feel grounded and in their mad rush to return to earth
they can get quite hot, so much so that they can spontaneously
combust and set fire to anything close by.
Thatched roofs particularly do not get along well with headstrong
electrons.
A couple of months ago I went to see a house where the owner
said “there is a bit of wiring to do”. Talk about
an understatement. The house owner was a painter and he must
have found friend who last week was selling watches on the
beach. Together Van Gogh and his “master electrician”
had produced an artistic creation in electrical spaghetti
the like of which I have never seen before.
There were wires dangling everywhere and the joints were typical
Bali style with bare copper twisted by forefinger and thumb.
In one or two places a bit of Sellotape (Durex to you Aussies)
provided a mythical semblance of insulation.
It was rather frightening but the most worrying part of all
was to find badly joined bare wires hiding in the Alang Alang
roofing. A bit of rain to ease the flow and those little electrons
would have had a field day in their headlong rush to earth.
Electrons are rather like lemmings, they don’t think,
they don’t choose, they just rush with gay abandon towards
neutrality.
That reminds me about public servants in Queensland. I have
never met a group of people who would fight so aggressively
for their right to be apathetic. Sorry, I digress.
Electrons are good guys really. We would struggle without
them. Technology has not yet developed the gas fired computer
and a steam powered washing machine would probably weigh about
three tons. I remember a sickeningly optimistic friend of
mine who would set off with glee to pay his electric bill
with the comment “isn’t it wonderful that we can
buy electricity”.
So how do we protect ourselves from over exuberant electrons?
Safe sex is the answer. By using strategically placed rubber
insulation we can stop the house setting on fire while we
are distracted. Bare joints should be covered by those little
plastic “dutch caps” and junction boxes to keep
the electrons in when we are in intimate contact.
Circuit breakers are also an excellent idea (electrocutus
interruptus is the latin term). As soon as those little electrons
get on the wrong track, click, and their fun is stopped, the
power goes off and we are safe.
Modern circuit breakers (or as I should say earth leakage
detectors) are very effective. They are very reliable but,
better than that, no longer do you have to run around in the
middle of the night trying to find the fuse wire and screwdriver
and start messing around in the dark in that little cramped
space in the pouring rain to get the power back on. Reach
in, click, and we are back in business. The downside is that
the National Union of Fuse Wire Makers has been fighting a
losing battle to protect their industry against the promoters
of “No Fuse Is Good News”.
So to recap, if you would like to live a long healthy life
and not have your house burn down in the night:
• Make sure you get an electrician to do electrical
work in your house
• Make sure that all joints use terminal blocks to hold
wires together properly and cover the bare wires.
• Make sure joints are placed in junction boxes.
• Make sure that wire is in good condition and properly
secured out of the way.
• Make sure your house has circuit breakers and that
they work properly.
• Keep wiring away from Alang Alang roofs
• Don’t dry your hair in the bath and the next
time that piece of toast just will not come out of the toaster
don’t stick a knife in to release it.
If you want frizzy hair go to a hair dresser.
Phil Wilson
Phil Wilson a project director for Focus Indonesia and a partner
of MrFixit property maintenance services. Opinions expressed
are those of Phil Wilson. If you have any questions or comments
related to property maintenance he can be contacted at the
office on 0361 288 789 or through the website at www.mrfixitbali.com
Copyright@2007 Fixed Abode
You can read all past articles of Fixed Abode
at www.BaliAdvertiser.biz
