Hitam is a fairly typical Bali dog, spending his days busily trotting the dusty backroads of Ubud, dozing in the gateway of his compound and making fearsome noises at apprehensive tourists. He is fully employed as his family’s satpam, enjoying regular meals of rice and chicken feet. He wears a collar and probably has a couple of bald patches. Of course he is a male, because female dogs have the annoying habit of producing puppies regularly and are expensive to neuter. Hitam will either have survived a brutal kampung castration or still celebrate his unaltered masculinity with blatant sexual congress by the roadside, to the amazement of Western children who are quickly hustled along by their parents. At night he sounds terrifying, but is in fact rather a coward.
The lot of the Bali dog has improved tremendously in the past few years as owners begin to take more responsibility for their pets. It’s a rare dog in Ubud these days that doesn’t have a collar. As a tourist to Bali ten years ago, I remember being afraid to walk to my homestay at night because the packs of mangy dogs were terrifying. Now it seems that only the polite ones survive and appear to enjoy a fairly comfortable life. Any starving strays or tourist-eaters quickly disappear. I’ve seen Balinese walking their dogs on leashes, taking them for joyrides on the motorcycle and tying kerchiefs around their necks.
This is still light years away from a dog’s life in the West, of course. In the past few years, the North American dog has been elevated to a cult-like status undreamed of in developing countries. Single people, childless couples, the gay community and empty-nesters have embraced canine companionship with unprecedented enthusiasm. A whole industry has sprung up to accessorize The Dog.
In the old days, all a dog needed was a collar with an ID tag, a leash, a bowl and, if he was lucky, his own blanket and a couple of toys. He ate commercial dog crunchies (now known to contain all sorts of rubbish) and relished the occasional bone. How times have changed.
Someone recently sent me a slick magazine called ‘Modern Dog’. The tagline reads, ‘The lifestyle magazine for urban dogs and their companions’. On the cover, Pamela Anderson clutches a rescued hound against her astonishing bosom. Inside are perfectly serious articles about what kind of coat your dog may require in the winter, whether playing tug might be harmful and how to brush his teeth. The fashion spreads feature leggy models in expensive frocks embracing large, well-groomed Huskies.
While Hitam enjoys his boiled chicken heads, his American cousin Max dines like a raja. There are recipes for liver biscuits (take pork liver, wheat germ, flax seeds, brewer’s yeast…) and an ad for Power Bars for the active dog. The full-page, glossy ads are for specially formulated gourmet-quality, holistic dog foods containing venison, lamb and organic chicken, allergin-free grains and chelated minerals, delivered to your door. One small firm sells hand-made, organic, grain-free dog biscuits. Dog treats come in charcoal and peppermint, peanut butter, cheese and chicken finger flavours. Oh, and did I mention the smoked salmon skins?
There is a special pet seatbelt for Max to wear in the car, and a small alarm for his collar to alert you if he falls into the swimming pool. Max slumbers on a wide variety of pet beds ranging from contoured cushions and minimalist Scandanavian teak to a four-poster with a tasseled tuffet. Several ads for dog coats include a goose-down jacket, a hooded raincoat and serious cold-weather coats in arctic fleece and Lycra in a full range of canine sizes. Someone has developed all-weather dog boots with non-skid soles that fasten with Velcro tapes. For more formal occasions, tuxedo ties and collars can be rented by the night. The House of Lolita (Discriminating Wear for the Diminutive Dog) provides an exclusive line of hand-knit dog sweaters. On the same page is an ad for tasteful cremation urns in maple and cherry wood, ranging from $150 to $525, so Max’s remains can always be with you.
Full-service dog spas are beginning to appear, offering grooming, hydro massage, open plan daycare, pre-warmed towels, swimming, TV, mineral water, and a limo service. Max enjoys canine spa products that include aromatherapy, spritzes, many shampoos and conditioners, natural ear wash and paw balm.
If Max is on the small side, he probably has his own carrier bag with a choice of beaded silk, faux fur or leather. Or perhaps a Burberry tote? Big Max has a backpack to carry his stuff when you go on hikes together.
So the modern urban dog dines well, dresses well, has great toys and his own dog waste removal service. But what does Max do while you’re at work all day? He’s a social animal, and you worry about his mental health. Doggy Day Care (now called the Dog Club) is a good solution, or you may want to hire a dog walker. One service collects Max from home and brings him to your place of work at closing time, so you can spend quality time commuting together. Another will bring your dog to you at lunch break so you can share your organic venison in the park. Perhaps you’ll sip a mellow wine with a label like ‘Merlot Over and Play Dead’ or ‘Portrait of a Mutt’ from the Mutt Lynch Winery.
Then there are the social aspects. You’ll want to attend all the best dog shows to make sure you’re au courant with the latest trends and to see what the other dogs are wearing. And Max will naturally attend a prestigious training academy to learn his manners with positive reinforcement and the most modern psychological techniques. If he’s a bit of a handful, then a weekend at Doggy Boot Camp will help him focus.
Bali is still a long way from these excesses, you may harrumph. But last week I saw a Bali dog that belonged to a batik shop on the main road, wearing a Tshirt. “Where did you get that?” I enquired. The proud owner directed me to the new pet shop near my house. There I found a rack of dog accessories including Tshirts in several sizes, a wide range of collars and — wait for it
—
specially designed knickers for Ibu Hitam to wear at that time of the month. Another little shop in Tebesaya is dedicated to small dogs and includes a grooming table with all the right combs and a hair dryer. It sells tiny harnesses and little clips for your poodle’s coiffure.
So hang in there, Hitam. With a little practice you could start wearing a batik sarong and a hibiscus tucked into your collar. The Bali Dog look may someday be a fashion statement. Hold the paw balm.
