How would you describe the emotional characteristics of
the Balinese?
As many of you will already know, generally the Balinese
are very peaceful people. Like pretty much all ethnic groups
in Indonesia, keeping your emotions in check is an essential
part of interpersonal relationships.
For example, it is considered unrefined (kasar) and inappropriate
to explode into anger under any circumstances, and a cool
head is respected and strived for.
Crying is another emotion you’ll hardly ever see in
adults, unless they are in great physical pain. Even when
someone dies, you rarely see public mourning and people keep
their crying private. Cremation ceremonies on the contrary
are relatively raucous and lively affairs.
Romantic or sexual affection is not for public display and
you’ll only see a bit of public affection between young,
modern couples, but this is not commonplace or encouraged.
Keeping displays of emotions to a minimum is perhaps got to
do with living in close quarters with family. Due to the tight
social and religious community they live in, getting overly
emotional about something can cause great embarrassment for
your family, especially when the gossip starts spreading.
Balinese avoid confrontation at all costs and most people
avoid dealing with strong emotions or the people that vent
them. If there is conflict or unavoidable confrontation it
is rarely talked about openly. Certainly there never ‘family
meetings’ or counselling sessions to deal with any unresolved
interpersonal issues. It just doesn’t (or doesn’t
yet) exist.
This is not to say that Balinese don’t get angry. Many
do, but often deep inside, and resentment and hatred build
up often hurting them inside, manifesting itself in mental
problems or physical sickness.
Sometimes, for foreigners visiting or living in Balinese,
this lack of emotion seems a bit abnormal and hard to read.
If someone doesn’t tell you or obviously show you they
are angry or sad for example, how can you know?
