I’m going to visit an Indonesian family. Any tips?

As in any culture, visiting someone’s home involves some sort of social etiquette. In the West, you wouldn’t walk into a stranger’s house without knocking or leave without saying goodbye. In Indonesia, too, knowledge of basic etiquette is essential when you visit someone’s home.

First of all, it’s fine to visit someone without prior warning – don’t feel that you need to call first. It’s best not to visit people between 2-4pm when people are having a siesta. Also avoid visiting after 10pm because many people have already gone to bed. Early morning visits from around 7.30am onwards are fine – most Indonesians are ‘up and doing’ by this time.

People normally say “Permisi” (or “Om Swastiastu” if they are Hindu) when they enter someone’s house or house compound – sometimes with a knock, sometimes without. If you’re looking for someone in particular, say: “Permisi saya mau cari person’s name”, or “Person’s name ada?”

When you enter the house proper, you should always attempt to take off your shoes (but sometimes your host will insist that you to leave them on) and leave them outside the front door.

When you meet people, you can shake hands, but do it lightly. It is customary in Java to touch your chest with your hand after you shake hands, but this is not necessary with Balinese. If the people are Hindu, you can greet them with your hands in the prayer position in front of your chest.

Your guest will probably not introduce family members unless you ask who they are. It may in fact take a long time to get to know their names and their relationship to your host. This is particularly in the case in Bali where there are so many Wayans, Mades, Nyomans and Ketuts! It is enough just to say ‘hi’ to them, but you can ask their name and relationship to your host if you’re curious.

Obviously the visit doesn’t finish here. Find out more in the next edition of Kulture Kid...

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