Balinese Body Language Part III – Touchy, feely – really…really?
You don’t have to spend much time in Bali to discover that the Balinese like close physical contact. While most westerners will do their darnedest to avoid getting too close to someone we don’t know – or even someone we do know quite well – you’ll find that Balinese don’t value personal space so much.
Someone you barely know may lean against you in a crowd or put their hands on your shoulders; a friend may caress your arm or leg, or hold your hand as you walk with them; an elderly person may clutch your arm as you cross the street with them.
It’s best not to see the ‘touchy, feely’ thing as anything sexually suggestive. But casual (but completely harmless) touching can seem a tad ‘out of the ordinary’ for visitors. I remember my father’s cries of delight when shop girls (they do, however, only seem to do this to western tourists though…) would innocently touch him when he was shopping. I similarly recall his cries of discomfort after going to a ceremony and having everyone squash themselves up against him.
Touching may be habitual for Balinese but it can be deliberate. If, for example, somebody grabs onto your arm tightly it may be that they are looking for a sense of security in you. Perhaps if a woman pinches a guy (not usually his butt!), it means she finds him attractive. If someone holds your hand, it means they want to show you that they are friendly and feel comfortable with you.
Perhaps the Balinese penchant for ‘touchy-feelyness’ stems from their close family lives, with extended families often living together in the same house. Another culprit could be the communal banjar system that encourages people to gather together in one spot on a regular basis for various activities. I personally reckon it’s simply due to Bali’s Woodstock-esque laid-back feel and an abundance of cheery smiles.
