You don’t have to live here long before hear the word ‘malu’. Literally, the word means ‘embarrassed’, ashamed’ or ‘shy’, but it is a much more than that. It is a characteristic or attitude that pervades the psyche of pretty much all local people I’ve met.
Where possible, Indonesians always avoid conflict. People hate confrontations or violent, spontaneous flares of emotion. They would rather say nothing or not deal with a situation, rather than deal with the embarrassment that fronting up a situation could create. This is perhaps due to the fact that Indonesians live very communal lives, particularly here in Bali, and people are conscious not to ‘rock the boat’ or ‘make ripples’. Watery analogies aside, it is crucial to bear in mind ‘malu’ with dealing with local people and situations. People don’t like to lose face, particularly in public, so try to avoid showing people up saying anything which could humiliate them in front of others. Peace, unity and harmony is what is sought after, even if it is at the expense of not expressing what you want, or what you think is better for everyone around you.
If you’ve ever attended a banjar meeting or even had a staff meeting with your local staff, you’ll notice that very few people will express their opinions or assert their position. When asked a question in a group, there will almost always be a long awkward silence, with no one volunteering to answer. This is generally because people are too ashamed to say anything that could affect the group, hence their face, negatively as a consequence.
Not showing your true colours is in stark contrast to many other cultures, particularly Westerners and Mediterranean people who like to be really upfront with each other, often with vivid body language and frantic exchanges of lively gestures. This is why many foreigners find it frustrating influencing or motivating large groups of people here. This is also one of the answers to the mystery or why relationships may change or staff may resign for no apparent reason. There is a reason, but it is hidden deep in the mysterious world of ‘malu’…
Vaughan Hatch has immersed himself with Balinese culture, living with locals in Bali since 1997. He speaks fluent Indonesian and Balinese, and is unashamedly addicted to playing gamelan. A linguistic, archaeology and publishing graduate, he works for indOKiwi ‘linguistic and cultural solutions’ in Sanur. Email him on contact@indokiwibali.com or call (0361) 8427030 for further queries.
