I have lived in Bali for the past six and a half years, during which time I have had to make many cultural adjustments – some easier than others. I think some of you non-natives out there who are in the same boat as I am might understand where I am coming from. There are just certain values, behaviors, etc, that I will probably never get used to, nor am I willing to adapt to. My husband disagrees, however, often reminding me that I live in Bali and not Canada, so I should be used to the way things are by now. But my western culture stubbornly resists conceding to things that really matter to me. For example, I will never understand why Indonesians will often laugh at you when a problem arises between you and them. I am told that this is culturally acceptable, but it just doesn’t feel right to me to have someone laughing at you when you are already upset or angry. Doesn’t this only make matters worse? No one feels good to be laughed at when the chips are down. Ok, yes there are some funny mishaps in life that warrant laughter, but I believe there is a time and place for it.
Another notable difference between western culture and Indonesian culture is the lack of exchange policies for items purchased. Basically, if you buy almost anything in Bali and then it breaks, you’re s**t out of luck! This ridiculous policy is of course beneficial to the retailer, but where does that leave the consumer? The other day, my husband bought me a beautiful ring for my birthday as a symbol of our marriage to one another. It was unfortunately too small, so he panicked knowing that it would be very difficult if not impossible to exchange the ring for another size. I too was quite worried for him, because I knew that he had spent most of his savings to get it for me. We phoned the jewelry store to see if they were open that day. When we arrived, the gate was nearly shut, so I beckoned a salesperson to the door asking him why they were closed when we had called just a few minutes ago and they said they were open. Typically, the guy started laughing, knowing that he was wrong. This got my ire up even more. Dewa calmly stepped in to ask when the store would be open, and the sales guy said to come back at 11am. We returned to find the shop was still closed. Our frustrations were mounting, so we decided to go get some lunch and then returned again at 12 noon when the shop finally opened. Dewa had purchased the ring just the day before, so we hoped they wouldn’t give us too much trouble with the exchange. At first, the woman said we had to pay a 15% return fee which is how these jewelry shops make their money, as many customers return jewelry when they are low on cash. Dewa calmly explained that he had just bought the ring the day before and that we had already been to the shop three times and that it wasn’t fair for them to charge us. She reluctantly agreed not to charge us 15% and let me choose a ring that fit me. It was a miracle! These are the stresses that sometimes get me down as I try to adapt to a culture that is vastly different from my own. How can we ease the strain of cultural exchanges like the abovementioned which often challenge us on a daily basis? The only solution that I can see is to suspend our judgment of how we think things should be and recognize that they just won’t be that way. The more we can come to terms with this, the easier our lives will be. Having a good sense of humor can also go a long way to lighten what would otherwise be a frustrating encounter. When you feel your blood start to boil, take a deep breath, close your eyes and click your heels together telling yourself “There’s no place like home.” It worked for Dorothy and it just might work for you.
For questions or comments, please feel free to email:
ibulinarose@yahoo.com
