My ten year old son is a beautiful blend of American, Puerto Rican, Spanish and Indonesian. When I asked him about what he thinks the best thing is about being a product of mixed parents he replied, “I like all the experiences that I’ve had in both cultures. I get to do and see so many great things that my friends don’t get to do.”
Djaya is a clever boy who speaks both Indonesian and English fluently. He has an amazing capacity to adapt to whatever environment he lives in. Six months a year he resides in the U.S.A. with his biological father and spends the remaining six months with Made and I in Bali. Whenever he leaves either country he must leave one parent’s culture and enter another culture which is completely different with a separate set of social values, language and lifestyle. He is like a chameleon changing his colors to adapt to his new environment. Because of his exposure to both cultures, he has become more accepting of other cultures and understanding of the uniqueness of individuals from those societies. In many ways, Djaya is the new generation of children who are citizens of the world, showing the way to the rest of us who are still stuck in our outdated ways of thinking about people from diverse ethnic backgrounds.
On the flip side, Djaya feels that having a Moslem father, Buddhist mother, Hindu step-father, Christian grandmother and a Jewish grandfather is very confusing. So his biggest question is: who is God and what is God? With such a variety of religious choices, it can be quite perplexing for any child to find the right spiritual path.
Another example is someone who is an atheist who is married to a Moslem man. The atheist obviously cares nothing about religion, so leaves this responsibility with the father who then raises their children to be Moslem. Eventually the children become aware that the mother has no faith in God. How will this affect their own perceptions of whether God exists or doesn’t?
The only thing that we can do as parents who are in a bi-cultural relationship which may also include multi-religions, is to expose our children to the various spiritual practices and let them choose what is right for them. This is no small task considering how most of us are quite attached to our beliefs as being the ultimate truth. Perhaps our children will bring about a radical shift in consciousness as they pave the way for a new spirituality which knows no physical or mental boundaries.
There is a great deal that we can learn from our children who are quick to grasp the concept of universal love and peace. Their minds are uncluttered by the conditioning of fear and intolerance which many adults readily succumb to.
As I watch Djaya sleep beside me, I feel a sense of relief that the possibilities are still wide open to him. I know that he will find his own way as he grows older and has more life experiences. Being a product of two cultures definitely has its advantages.
For questions or comments, please feel free to email:
ibulinarose@yahoo.com
