As prices continue to escalate in Indonesia for basic items such as food (current prices have been increased by 60% since 2007) and gas which is now a whopping Rp6.000 a liter, one has to wonder how this will affect all relationships let alone the bi-cultural couple? Gone are the days when someone could walk into a local chain grocery store and buy a loaf of bread for Rp3.000. Nowadays the price has doubled to Rp6.000 or greater depending on the kind of bread you choose. Rice and eggs continue to increase in price too. Almost weekly our helper comes back saying, “Sorry Ibu, the price is up again.” The pressure is mounting on local families who are struggling to survive amidst mass inflation. The salaries they receive can’t even begin to meet these rising costs.
As a western woman married to a Balinese man, I am more fortunate because I have a skill as a writer which allows me to earn a good enough income to live on. My husband is an intelligent man fluent in English, yet his average monthly salary as a driver ranges between Rp500.000 – Rp4.000.000. The higher end of the scale is definitely a rarity, as he usually earns about Rp1.500.000 a month. This is considered to be a fairly good income in Bali for a Balinese family, yet with the ever inflated costs of food and gas, we would be truly struggling to live off that amount. I must admit that it’s often a bone of contention between us that I am the main wage earner, but that’s the reality we must deal with. My guess is that the majority of mixed couples in Bali would fall into the same category; meaning, those of us who are the western partner whether male or female, earns the highest wage. If the westerner in the partnership is a woman, it presents some real challenges in the relationship which don’t play out the same way when the westerner is a man. Most men are conditioned in many cultures that they should be the main wage earner. When they aren’t, this can cause a lot of conflict because their sense of self worth is challenged. I don’t think any woman wants her man to feel bad about himself because she is earning more than he is, yet how can we prevent this from happening? I don’t have all the answers and I know this is a tricky one, but the best thing we can do to bolster up our Indonesian partners is to give them plenty of confirmation about how much we appreciate them. Everyone likes to be told that they are wonderful whether they are a man or a woman.
Another way to bring harmony into this potentially sensitive area is to network with other people who are in mixed relationships. This creates a common ground for both of you so that you can share your frustrations, concerns, etc, with other couples who are in the same boat. One way to meet other bi-cultural couples would be to go to the Sanur Movie nights which are held every two weeks at the Sanur Community Center. They show some great non-Hollywood movies which are a mix of western and Indonesian films. Sometimes in a relaxed and social environment people begin to connect and many possibilities appear for future work or potential friendships which will help you through difficult times.
As the economy in Bali continues to change and costs rise higher, the only thing that we can do to sustain our happiness is to create friendships and liaisons with people who are also looking for creative ways to survive and overcome difficult times. It is much easier to ride those rough waves when we know we have other people like us to lean on and who can also lean on us when times get tough.
For questions or comments, feel free to contact:
ibulinarose@yahoo.com
