Most everyone at some point in their life becomes attached to some thing, some person, some emotion, some place or some cause. The list of possible attachments is extensive. However, when do we realize we are attached? How do we know we are attached? More importantly, is there a problem with being attached? According to mental health diagnostic manuals in the West and spiritual teachers of the East, attachment can most definitely become a problem, a problem that can weigh so heavily that it debilitates ones own growth and freedom.
Attachment comes in many different guises. For instant, people can be ‘into’ many things. They may love their car, their books, their collection of designer clothes, their watch, their antiques or other collectibles. The attachment comes by securing a feeling over these or other items to a sense of where that item becomes an extension of oneself. How can that be? Well, remove these items and see how emotions can erupt. Take away the ‘thing’ that someone loves to have and that void becomes filled with sadness, anger, hostility, frustration and even sense of loss to the self. For some, the act of displacing feelings toward objects is not apparent until the thing is gone. The loss of an item can be unbearable and feelings can be quite profound.
What about being attached to an emotion or to a feeling, and not a tangible item? These attachments can be more insidious and when gone unchecked can become habits which ultimately can turn into addictions. Several examples can be seen in gambling, smoking, having multiple relationships and partners or eating. It’s when the emotions from these activities start taking over and controlling your life that the attachment has become a problem. What about being attached to an outcome? Being attached to a process? What happens when a process becomes out of your control? How do you know if you’re attached? Again, when the removal of what you’re holding on to is so great that your emotions overwhelm your better judgment, you have been attached.
Now understand that good health in life requires a balance. Being constantly detached can be detrimental as well. Being void of empathy or being unavailable to others emotionally can impair ones ability to experience the fullness of life. On the other end, being too attached to things, people or emotions can prevent one from experiencing the true freedom of life. So reflect on yourself and ask… What am I attached to? What could I let go of and not lose my sense of self? What could I stop desiring for and still be able to feel alive and whole? Enjoy the things you love, but be free from the attachment. When you do life will tend to expand.
