Guilt is an emotion that can be associated with feeling of remorseful, feeling culpable, or feeling personably responsible for something in the past or something in the future that may happen. It is an emotion that overshadows the potential of complete fulfillment in ones life and hinders personal growth. Guilt is also a common emotion but how many of us relate to the feelings of guilt in ourselves. How many of us are able to identify where guilt is sabotaging our life? For some, guilt can be falsely identified or dismissed as a natural emotional response that is beyond ones control. Whatever the case, guilt is an important emotion one should identify within his/herself. When identified, one can then question both the validity and reasoning for holding onto this emotion.
As a feeling, guilt can quickly reduce ones sense of confidence and effect behavior. Some studies have also shown that the feeling of guilt can lead to various mental health issues from depression to mania. Guilt also causes anxiety and anxiety itself can cause lot of stress-related health disorders over time (i.e. ulcers, headaches, high blood pressure). The physiological symptoms itself can serve as indicators of how a person is reacting or coping to the effects of this emotion. If the feelings have been long ingrained, the symptoms or behaviors can also become chronic and commonplace that the root of the problem is not considered. The symptoms become a natural part of ones life. By understanding guilt and identifying if it’s a prevalent condition, a person is better able to develop emotional control and peace of mind.
How guilt develops in ones life varies but it can be the residual effect of an engrained belief system. It emerges as a kind of personal response when one feels they have violated a moral code. In addition, people can develop what is known as “unhealthy” guilt because of long standing insecurities and self-doubts. Unhealthy guilt occurs when you feel everything is your fault. Even if something is completely out of your control, there is still a sense of feeling responsible, for everything and everyone. As an example, someone else makes a mistake, but it is taken as your fault. That reasoning develops when a person thinks that “perhaps if I were there the mistake would not have happened”. These types of “what if” rationales can be further played out in ones mind to the extent that reality and positive reasoning becomes overshadowed and one starts feeling an overwhelming responsibility for the pain of others. Healthy guilt on other hand can inspire a person to behave in his/her best interests as well as in the best interest of others and quickly make amends when any wrongdoing happens and then to learn from that experience. Healthy guilt can serve as moral guideline that makes one accountable and can help develop compassion toward others. It is not chronic nor is it debilitating.
What is important here is identifying if guilt is the reason you are not getting around to do the things you love. Is it preventing you from being able to enjoy just relaxing or engaging in the act of ‘doing nothing’ for example? There are many different reasons we may not do the things we want to do and we each have our own valid excuses. However, think deeper and question yourself to see if guilt is playing a dominant role in your life. If so, why? What purpose is it serving? How could your life change by freeing your conscience from the emotional burden of guilt? Are you passing your own personal sense of guilt to others? Are you passing your guilt over to you children? Emotional regulation and self-awareness are key components to developing happiness in ones life. Learn about the unhealthy aspects of how guilt may be dictating your life and start looking at different perspectives of self-forgiveness and correcting mistakes. Removing unhealthy and unnecessary guilt in ones life can then open paths for expansive personal growth.
