School can be a strange and scary place for beginners. Imagine that you are starting a new job and that your seniors stand almost twice as tall as you do, your associates tell you bluntly that you are too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, you have buck teeth, or freckles! On top of all that they want everything that’s in your lunch box, and then cajole you even more when you won’t give it too them! What a day! Young children usually have to cope with bigger buildings, lots more children who are older and bigger and less adults for support. There are different rules to get used to and many new things that they are expected to do. The playtime breaks, especially, can be very frightening for beginners. School days can be very tiring too, for children who are used to a rest during the day. Children may have been looking forward to school a lot and feel very let down if they don’t enjoy it as much as they hoped. Even for those who do enjoy it, starting school is stressful. Children need lots of support from you before starting school and especially in the first few weeks.
PREPARING FOR SCHOOL
It will help your child if you prepare them as well as you can and at the same time show them that you have confidence that they will manage the new challenges. It will help if they clearly know where school is in relation to home. Help your child become familiar with school by visiting before (some kindergartens also arrange this), driving past often and talking about what will happen. Show your child over the school so they know where they will be going, where the toilets are (and try them out) and where you will pick them up. Prepare your child for what will happen. Make sure they have clothes that they can manage, that they can unwrap their lunch and that they know how to ask to go to the toilet.
Some other things you may need to prepare your child for
- The school bell or siren and what it means.
- How to drink from a water fountain.
- Putting up a hand to ask a question.
- Read a story about a child who just started school, or tell about when you started school (as long as it has a happy ending!).
If your child is anxious about leaving you, ask them what would help, e.g. who should drop them off at school, where they want to say good-bye, what they want to wear and what they want to do after school etc. Having some control over what happens helps with fears. You might tell them what you’ll be doing while she’s at school. It can help your child if they know other children starting school at the same time. Make enquiries with the school and if possible invite another child and parent over before school starts.
ONCE AT SCHOOL
Don’t be late picking your child up. A few minutes can seem a long time when you are not very sure of yourself. Some children want to tell you all about their day as soon as you pick them up so, make time for your child after school if they need it, or as soon as you get home if you work. Some children, however, like a while by themselves before they want company. Children are often ‘starving’ after school. A healthy snack straight after can make up for a missed lunch due to excitement or anxiety. This will be as important as eating a big dinner. If you are picking your children up in a car after school, take something (a piece of fruit) with you ready for them to eat in the car. In the first few weeks they might be too tired to really want to eat by dinner time. Listen, but don’t ask too many questions. Children will talk when they are ready. It helps if you read stories to children even after they can read themselves. Bedtime is usually a good listening and reading time. Some children wet their pants in the early months at school. This can be very embarrassing for them. They need to be reassured that it often happens to children and it is nothing to worry about. Encourage your child to tell the teacher. Pack an extra pair of pants if it happens. If you show you are worried, it will make them feel that there really is something to worry about. Keep to routines that allow time for rest and free play.Don’t arrange too many after school activities or have too many things to do on the way home, e.g. shopping. Some children get upset if they haven’t learn to read on the first day. Remind your child of all the things he can read such as his name, road signs, and names on food packets. If your child is really upset, if you are worried, or there is bullying or teasing going on, talk to the teacher about it.
STARTING CAN BE STRESSFUL
Some children, when they first start school, find it so stressful that they don’t want to go. They may get tummy aches or be very tearful in the mornings. If this happens to your child listen to his fears. Try not to let him see that you are worried. Let him know that you believe that he can manage to go to school and you will help him. Ask him what he thinks would help, e.g. sometimes going with another parent instead of you is a help. For another child having something small of yours to mind while he is at school will help. If the worries don’t get better soon, talk to the teacher about the best way to help your child. Forcing children usually does more harm than good.
“
Kim Patra is a qualified Registered Nurse and Midwife that has been living and working in Bali for almost twenty years. She now runs her own private practice and medical referral service from her Kuta office. Kim is happy to discuss any health concerns with you and she may be contacted via e-mail at info@chcbali.com”.
