Almost every week there is a story in the local paper about
a pedophile who has been caught, on trial or convicted of
the crime of sexually abusing a child, or many children in
Bali. In this recent article published on the MSN homepage,
a convicted pedophile speaks out as to how easy it was for
him to carry out his abuse, and if it is that easy for him
to do in New Zealand, how easy then must it be for pedophiles
to operate in Asia, where money speaks and it speaks at a
much lower price.
Pedophile speaks of dangers facing kids
A convicted New Zealand pedophile says he was able to offend
prolifically because parents were ignorant of the dangers
facing their children.
The man who abused 40 children over decades in swimming pools,
malls and on public transport, spoke out to help parents be
more vigilant to the risks posed by men like him. He said
he was surprised by a lot of the things he got away with and
said society’s reluctance to discuss sex and sexual
offending made it easier to abuse.
The pedophile said he manipulated his victims into keeping
quiet by telling them it was a “naughty game”
and making them part of the guilty secret. He thinks he got
away with it because parents expected pedophiles to wear trench
coats, be old, bald and only like girls.
He said the single most important way parents could protect
their children was by paying them attention and that pedophiles
targeted parents as much as children, with most abused children
sexually assaulted by people they knew, and whom their parents
trusted. He thought GPS trackers and regular visits to known
pedophiles by police would make a difference in keeping children
safe.
The pedophile said parents should be suspicious of men who
wanted to play with their child. He said swimming pools should
have under-12 changing areas and there should be CCTV cameras
outside public toilets and in malls. Parents should realize
when they were in public their children were not safe, he
said. (August 18th 2007, NineMSN)
WHO ARE PAEDOPHILES?
Pedophiles are people who sexually abuse children of either
or of both sexes. (The legal determination of “child”
may vary from country to country).They are usually men who
are sexually attracted to children and who often abuse a large
number of them over a lifetime. And if you think that pedophiles
are all old, fat, white men, think again. It has been accepted
in many Asian countries (including Bali) down through the
ages for Royalty or wealthy men to have several “comfort
boys” at their calling.
WHAT ARE PAEDOPHILES LIKE?
It would be easy if pedophiles walked around with a certain
“look” that could help children avoid such people,
but there isn’t any one way to describe what they look
like. Child molesters can be the respectable member of the
community or the ‘nice guy’ in the street. Some
things we do know:
· They often choose to work at, or hang around places
where there is easy access to children, such as schools, youth
groups, or fun places.
· Pedophiles also look for children in places where
they are likely to be unsupervised e.g. parks, playgrounds,
the beach and near schools.
· They often have hobbies and interests that appeal,
and usually “hook in” children by showing a keen
interest in what they like or by giving material “goodies”
such as money or gifts.
· They may win the child’s or parents’
trust over a period of time before they abuse.
· They often tell a child that theirs is a special
relationship and what they do together should be a secret.
· They are often in a position of power or authority,
which can make it almost too difficult for children to disobey.
What does a child do when a senior person such as a teacher
suggests he will be given low marks and kept in, or a coach
won’t give him a game, or a babysitter says that his
pet might be killed?
· They can make a child feel “special”.
This means that children who feel unloved, who feel they are
hopeless or bad, or who have been abused at home are especially
at risk. They are the children who are more likely to respond
to someone who shows them attention and affection.
HOW CAN YOU PROTECT YOUR CHILD?
We cannot always stop bad things happening to our children,
but we can do a lot to prepare them for some of the dangers
in life. We try to protect our children from being hit by
a car. We teach them road safety without scaring them with
all the gory details and making them so frightened that they
won’t cross a road. In the same way we can try to protect
our children from the dangers of pedophiles.
· Be suspicious if an adult seems more interested in
spending time with your child than with you. It might be that
he offers to look after your child, or wants to be alone with
your child or take your child on a holiday.
· Be wary of people who are overly affectionate or
overly loving towards your child or who give your child lots
of gifts. Remember, most people have good intentions, so don’t
jump to conclusions.
· Be very choosy about leaving your children with others.
Ask them how they feel about being cared for by that person.
Try to work out what they are saying with their behavior.
This is how very young children can tell us they are afraid.
· Teach your children about different parts of the
body. Teach them which are their own private parts. Advise
them to tell someone they trust if anyone, even a relative,
tries to touch their private parts or suggests something they
don’t want to do which makes them feel scared or bad.
· Teach your children to try and get away as quickly
as possible from any person who makes them feel uncomfortable
or frightened and to tell people they trust.
· Teach your children never to keep secrets that make
them feel uncomfortable or bad. Always listen to your children
and trust what they say even if you are shocked by it.
· Teach your children that adults are not always right.
This will help them if a child molester tells them the abuse
is okay and not to tell anyone.
· Children should always go to and from school with
other children if possible.
· Teach your children never to go into public toilets
alone.
· Teach children to always tell you where they are
going. If they are followed or frightened they should knock
on the nearest door and ask for the police to be called.
· Always answer your children’s questions honestly
and at a level that they can understand, even if you are embarrassed.
Things you teach your child will help, but they will not guarantee
your child’s protection. Children are not old enough
to totally protect themselves. It is up to adults to do this.
NOTE: It is not uncommon for local people to touch or fondle
youngsters on their genitals and tease them. (I have seen
this happen frequently in the villages and on the beach).
While this behavior may be without malice, it is still unacceptable.
If you live with local people or you have local house staff
please make it clear that you do not want your child subjected
to this kind of teasing.
“Kim Patra is a qualified Registered Nurse and Midwife
that has been living and working in Bali for almost twenty
years. She now runs her own private practice and medical referral
service from her Kuta office. Kim is happy to discuss any
health concerns with you and she may be contacted via e-mail
at info@chcbali.com or Hp. 081 2366 0000”.
