A moment and it’s gone. Our memories consist
of swathes of time – when we lived in that house, did
such and such a job, were in a certain relationship... But
actually, do such blobs of time really exist? Are our
lives divided into bite sized logical chunks or actually,
do they merely comprise thousands of unrelated moments all
shimmering in space?
Looking backwards, we organise our memories into events,
holidays, happenings. Looking forwards, we organise
our imaginings into ‘what might happen’ often
based on our fears, and put energy into imagining how we would
react if the feared thing did happen, and how we would then
feel... argh! A lot of energy goes into that, and meanwhile,
we are at the beach, sipping a cocktail, maybe not tasting
it, and not noticing the beautiful sunset!
I recently stayed at Tecekula, and went fishing early one
morning with a local fisherman. With a beaming smile,
he took me to his distant water platform and we whizzed in
circles, line extended, coolie hat over my eyes, laughing
at nothing and everything. Suddenly we caught a fish,
and he let me pull it in. Grabbing it in his rough square
hands his face opened in utter joy, just a like a child, and
he laughed gleefully. I was amazed! He looked
like he was catching his first ever fish! I thought
it so wonderful that he could feel such joy from something
so simple and for him, so everyday. I felt a great sense
of envy and admiration for his life.
How can we be more present? How can we ‘be here
now?’ There is only NOW. The past is done,
the future ain’t come yet. It is always so, yet
how we forget...
Why do we absent ourselves from the present, anyway?
I suppose mostly, because we are uncomfortable with our feelings.
Rather than just allowing our feelings to be as they are,
embracing them, we tend to reject, numb, switch off, substance
abuse, alcohol, TV distract and any other form of removing
ourselves from what is happening right now. Hey –
feelings are scary! What to do? Well, the only thing
to do with feelings is to... feel them. Acknowledge
them, embrace them. Accept them for what they are.
Don’t judge them (like, beat yourself up for having
the feeling). Allow it to be. Embrace it.
Then notice and feel what feeling is under the feeling.
Just keep going. It is so liberating and you will discover
that any feeling will dissipate like magic if you just allow
and embrace it. It’s only when feelings are repressed
that they grow and become a problem.
A hint: you don’t have to act upon your feelings
necessarily. (This can make feeling them less scary!)
You can choose to just notice them, and embrace them.
You don’t have to necessarily go hit someone just because
you feel angry. You can just notice you are angry, embrace
that, and be with it.
Making judgements is the way to create hell for ourselves.
This is where we take something that has happened and judge
it, make it bad, rather than just noticing how it is and allowing
it to be. For example, someone trips you up in the street
and you imagine that they have some grudge against you, or
that ‘the universe has it in for you’ or some
such. All that has actually happened is someone’s
foot stretched out in front of yours and you fell over it.
Judgement is the ‘so-and so shouldn’t do this,
shouldn’t do that’ kind of mentality. Then
we beat ourselves up, put energy into thinking how we want
things different from how they actually are. This is
suffering, and self-created. Heaven is, you’re
in the street, you fall over, you get up, and there’s
an end to it.
Exercise in being present: Get conscious of what you
are doing right now. Notice your breathing. Notice
your thoughts. Notice what your hands are feeling, your
body. Listen to the sounds around you. What can
you smell, taste? Come back to the moment. What
to do when you are panicking about the future? Do the
above exercise, then consider the risks that are actually
threatening you right here, right now. Most likely you
are curled up on a couch all cosy and right NOW everything
is fine! So make the decision to ‘worry about
everything else later’ and get on and enjoy the moment!
Balinese people are masters of the moment. After four
days of no water supply from the government in the village,
still when water does come, nobody thinks to fill the mandi
(bath) bucket ‘just in case’! They look
at me blankly when I suggest it, as if to say ‘eh?
We have water now, don’t we?’ I have to
admire them for that!
NEXT ISSUE: Paint n’ Paper, getting messy, having
fun and looking at your life...
Jeli Lala’s Ashram of Jewellery and Art’ –
Gifts, Crystals, Tarot, Art, Healing, Café –
is at no. 1, Sukma St., Tebesaya, Ubud (opposite Jazz Café.
She has studied yoga and other spiritual practices for over
ten years. She writes “In this column, I share
some of my personal experiences and spiritual methods –
hopefully, you’ll find this interesting, and maybe it
will give some ideas for your own journey. Come visit!”
Jeli welcomes comments and may be contacted on:
Email: jelila@jelila.com
Website: www.jelila.com or www.imagine-retreats.com
