Choices. Choosing What You Really Want In Your Life
– And Getting It
Take a blank sheet of paper, write your name on top and write...
I want... I want... I want... Fill in the gaps. Be free,
be open, don’t censor it. Keep writing till you
run out of ideas. Now try ‘I don’t want’...and
continue with that. You will probably end up with a
scribbly but inspiring piece of paper that delineates where
you are at now – and where you want to go.
Being – Doing - Having
You may have ‘material wants’ on your list.
For example ‘I want a bright red sports car’.
It’s worth exploring the feeling that you are looking
to experience as a result of having that car. Write
these on your list, too. For example – ‘freedom,
speed, excitement, film-star quality’. Usually,
we think that Having something (the car) will give us the
feeling or state of Being (freedom, speed) that we desire.
Instead, I invite you to try it the other way around –
get into the state of Being that you desire, act as if you
are already Doing it, and then you may find the Having (the
car) manifests all on its own! Experiencing the state
of being you desire can be as simple as just feeling an inner
shift in yourself.
It is possible to completely transform your life, without
actually changing the ‘what’; the substance of
what you are doing. For example, you are in a job that
you find boring and want out of. Instead of leaving,
try changing your attitude to the job you have, by choosing
it. Make a choice ‘I now choose to be in this
job and do it to the best of my ability’. Immediately
takes you out of the helpless, victim mentality and into empowerment.
Taking Responsibility
Imagine you are living alone on a desert island. What
would you choose to do? Eat what you wanted, wear what
you wanted (or nothing), do whatever you felt like doing?
What’s stopping you having that ‘desert island
feeling’ in your life now? Who, exactly, is making
you do what you don’t want? If you do have a feeling
that ‘someone’ or ‘something’ is preventing
you from doing or being what you want, then you are deluding
yourself. Only you can stop you! If you are blaming,
say, a partner, for limiting you, then in actual fact, YOU
are using your partner as a comfy excuse because part of you
doesn’t actually WANT the thing that you think you want!
Finds it too scary, or worries about being overwhelmed by
it, or whatever. Alternatively, if YOU are choosing
an unsupportive partner...it’s the same story!
Who is choosing to be with an unsupportive partner, minute
to minute?
(Oh, by the way, the other part of the fantasy of the red
car, is seeing yourself paying for it, cleaning it, and filling
it with gas!)
‘ Getting what we really want’ leads us to uncharted
territory, newness, and therefore...lack of safety.
It is natural and human to try to create a feeling of ‘safety
and security’ in our lives. So we hang on to ‘the
known’ – the job that we’ve had for ages,
a particular house, our possessions, which creates the illusion
of constancy and security. However, when you consider
that the very molecules of all of this are whizzing around,
it is illusion indeed! Letting go of our habitual supports
is liberating! It also creates a space for something
new – the universe abhors a vacuum and will flow new
and interesting things into any space you create!
Don’t Compromise. Go after what you really want, not
a watered down version. Get creative in how you might
get there - a ‘Win-Win’. Always remembering
that ‘what you want’ is more likely to be fully
expressed in ‘states of being’ rather than in
‘things’ (‘the best things in life... are
not things!’)
Getting hooked on the ‘story’
Most people are in love with their life drama. They
have become their story and are so identified with it that
it seems... real. To get out of this habit, focus on
the now. Really, there are no problems in life, there
is only the ‘now’, in which we are always empowered
to choose in every moment, and the ‘mind stuff’
– all the chatter we make up about how awful things
are, what problems we have, blah blah blah! Take a moment
to breathe, and focus on the now. Touch something and
notice its being, its ‘isness’. Hello!
Ask ‘do I have a problem, now?’ Most likely
you don’t – you just have life situations, that
need to be handled one by one. Not so overwhelming if
you look at it like that, perhaps?
Are you spending your ‘now’ wishing and wanting
something in the future? Because if you are, you are
literally ‘wishing your life away’. Learn
to appreciate and be with how things actually are now, and
enjoy them. Or change them – choose something
new! Now! Hope you have fun choosing!
NEXT ISSUE: Sunshine – bringing a ray of light
into your life.
Jeli Lala is an intuitive visionary with a playful and creative
approach to healing. Her gifts of channeling light and information
from other realms and her loving sensitivity have helped many
people along their path to wholeness. Her healing space,
Ashram, is at no. 1, Sukma St., Tebesaya, Ubud (Opp. Jazz
Café.) Ashram also carries crystals and inspiring
gifts. Tel: 081 239 43354.
Jeli welcomes comments and may be contacted on:
Email: jelila@jelila.com
Website: www.jelila.com or www.imagine-retreats.com
