Feelings. How to get in touch with them, express them,
be who you really are
Feelings. What are they? The subtle urges that
erupt in the heart and spread through the body til they reach
the mind... What’s the point of them? To me, feelings
are almost the entire reason we are here on the planet.
To feel. Our lives are expressed and coloured, (possibly,
‘coloured in’!) by our feelings. Life would
certainly be dull otherwise (though, free of suffering, perhaps!)
I believe when we are born we have come from a glowing blob
of light and love – surrounded by pure, unconditional
love. Yet in it’s pure form it can’t be
expressed – if love is all there is, what’s to
do? If there’s no ‘un-love’, love
cannot be expressed or experienced. It just ‘is’.
So here we are on the planet, we’ve chosen to come here,
perhaps for the evolution of our souls, and so that we can
experience through our... feelings! So if you are whizzing
round doing, and forgetting to feel, you may have lost the
plot!
Now, why would we ever want to avoid feeling? Well,
feelings can be scary. Sometimes they are prompting
us to change, perhaps to do something daring (like, run off
with the milkman, apply for a dream job, etc.) Sometimes,
they are painful, or we fear that painful feelings may be
lurking beneath the layers. And sometimes we fear losing
control.
What to do? Well, hiding and suppressing feelings doesn’t
really work, does it? It causes tremendous stress, for
one thing. And it can result in a divergence from one’s
life path, which can lead to depression. And ultimately,
it causes illness – if you are not listening to your
feelings - the quiet urgings of your deeper self, your soul
- then in the end the body gets involved, tries to get your
attention by making you sick. So then you have to listen!
So, the only thing to do with feelings is – feel them!
It’s so simple it sounds banal, but you will discover
that even the most ‘negative’ feelings such as
anger, pain, jealousy, etc. will dissipate magically once
you have felt them. Underlying the more subtle and complex
shades of feelings, are the two ‘biggies’ –
love and fear. If you feel your way down through the
layers of feeling you will get to one of these. And
ultimately, if you feel your way through to ‘Source’,
you will find yourself resting in love.
How to interpret and handle ‘negative’ feelings
Anger, for example, is telling you that your needs are not
being met. We get angry because we are usually blaming
someone else for not meeting our needs – and often,
trying to control them via our anger. ‘You must
give me what I want or I will get angry with you!’
Anger is often best expressed away from the cause of it –
don’t direct it at the person because it can be very
damaging. Instead, bash pillows to get in touch with
it, then see what feelings are beneath the anger. Feel
through the layers, till it releases. When calm, you
can discuss your needs with the other person, if appropriate.
You may not need to talk to them at all!
Expressing Your Feelings
Sometimes we don’t feel safe expressing our feelings
to others, fearing rejection, being misunderstood...
It’s very common in the West for us to run around like
mini-automatons (I was certainly like this in London!) pretending
that ‘everything is ok, I can cope...’ and fearing
to share our vulnerability. In actual fact, vulnerability
is very attractive! It says ‘I am human.
I don’t know everything. This is where I am now.
Maybe I need help.’ People love that and will
respond to you with open arms in a very heart-warming way!
It’s much more attractive than being Mr. or Mrs. Perfect
Who Doesn’t Need Anyone Else! Take a risk and
have a go!
In love relationships, the very Thing That You Think You Can’t
Talk About is of course, exactly the thing that you should
air. However scary. Take an emotional risk, and
you will move the relationship forward to a new level.
Don’t take the risk, and you risk staying stuck.
Have the grace to leap towards your partner, trust them, and
see how they respond. If the situation was reversed,
you would respond positively to them, wouldn’t you?
If you need help with your feelings, you may like to book
for a healing at Ashram or come on the retreat below, which
is about getting in touch with feelings.
Relax, transform, and get in touch with your feeling and creative
self – at Imagine - an inspiring retreat in Bali
from April 30 – May 3rd. Jeli Lala
is co-facilitating. For details, see website:
www.imagine-retreats.com Readers of this column are
eligible for a 5% discount. To get the discount, type
in code: JLA004 as you book on the website.
NEXT ISSUE: Time. The most precious commodity.
Why is there never enough? And what to do about it.
Jeli Lala is an intuitive visionary with a playful and creative
approach to healing. Her gifts of channeling light and information
from other realms and her loving sensitivity have helped many
people along their path to wholeness. Her healing space,
Ashram, is at no. 1, Sukma St., Tebesaya, Ubud (Opp. Jazz
Café.) Ashram also carries crystals and inspiring
gifts. Tel: 081 239 43354
Jeli welcomes comments and may be contacted on:
Email: jelila@jelila.com
Website: www.jelila.com or www.imagine-retreats.com
