The ‘pursuit of happiness’ is really an oxymoron
– an impossible combination. Because, if you are
pursuing happiness, it is always one step away, just out of
grasp. Isn’t it easier to just be still, and let
happiness come to you?
How does happiness come? Is it in the smile of a child
bringing you a flower? Is it in a kiss from a
loved one? Is it in a phone call or a message from a
friend that reminds
you how loved you are? Or maybe, in your work as you
discover more of who you are by creating something worthwhile?
A friend describes happiness thus: “It’s
in peace, nature, swimming in the river, knowing you can do
whatever you want to do, freedom!” Happiness is
many things – I suppose what’s important is knowing
what pleases you and making sure you make space for what you
really enjoy in your life. Too often, we make lots of
space for work and obligations and not enough space for fun!
Happiness is a funny thing. I feel like paraphrasing
John Lennon’s words ‘life is what happens to you
while you are busy making other plans’. How about
‘happiness is what happens to you when you stop trying
to be happy? Happiness is about just being. Be
here now, in the moment, experiencing and enjoying what is
right in front of you! Get out of the head, out of the
past, out of the future, and be here in the moment.
And of course, get into the heart!
And let’s look at the opposite of happiness –
misery and pain. Most of which (possibly all, even)
is created by how we think about things. How we present
things to ourselves. Most of the misery is created in
the form of judgements. Someone does something, and
we have a judgement about it. Like ‘oh my husband
shouldn’t leave his dirty socks on the floor - he obviously
doesn’t love me if he does that!’ So we
create a whole story about the socks, the husband and the
love, which bear little relationship to ‘reality’
and which cause us to suffer! We’ll probably even
create an argument with him later, causing more misery and
pain!
How do you create ‘stories’ which make you suffer?
Can you let go of them? One way is by creating more
positive stories ‘oh, my husband must have been in a
hurry to leave his socks on the floor like that!’
Try to catch yourself in any negative moany thought, and replace
it with a positive one. In that way, you will attract
untold positive things into your life! (rather than
untold negative ones!).
We are responsible for our own feelings and can choose to
feel happy or not in any moment. Why not choose to be
happy? Being able to feel gratitude is also essential
– being able to appreciate and focus on what is good,
and enjoying it. Taking responsibility for our own happiness
is also important – creating and crafting a joyous life
for ourselves that fulfils our needs and makes us feel good,
rather than depending on external factors.
On stuckness and ‘having it our way’
In one relationship, I realised I was feeling pain because
I wanted everything to be a certain way. My way! (naturally!)
So I decided to open to it not being that way and allow it
to be different. With a bit of creativity we designed
a new way of being together which wasn’t what I originally
had in mind, but actually, which had certain advantages. Suddenly
my pain (which was all about feeling ‘separation’)
was transformed into happiness, plus excitement! So
much better than being stuck in the pain and having the relationship
not go anywhere or stop, and just losing all the ‘good
bits’. How are you refusing to accept the delicious
positive aspects of things, where with a bit of imagination
and flexibility you might be able enjoy the good bits at least,
even if the ‘whole thing’ isn’t ‘exactly
how you thought you wanted it’? (You never know,
in a new form, it might turn out better than you ever imagined!
And the ‘good bits’ can be so good, can’t
they?)
Happiness Meditation
In a relaxed space, with a straight spine, imagine a time
when you were truly happy. Really feel the feeling in
your heart. Feel it expanding, into a golden light ball,
which gets bigger until it encompasses your whole body.
Let it expand out past your body. Enjoy the feeling
of being bathed in happiness. Now notice what is going
on around you. Bring your attention to the sights and
sounds in the room, and see if you can experience them with
gratitude and the feeling of happiness. Know that this
feeling of happiness is always within you, and you can evoke
it at any time. Gently return to consciousness bringing
your new knowledge of happiness with you.
I hope you will taste the good bits, open to enjoying things
the way they are rather than the way you think you want them,
and have loads of fun!
NEXT ISSUE: Jeli Lala’s Healing Journey in Bali
Jeli Lala is an intuitive visionary with a playful and creative
approach to healing. Her gifts of channeling light and information
from other realms and her loving sensitivity have helped many
people along their path to wholeness. Her healing space,
Ashram, is at no. 1, Sukma St., Tebesaya, Ubud (Opp. Jazz
Café.) Ashram also carries crystals and inspiring
gifts. Tel: 081 239 43354
Jeli welcomes comments and may be contacted on:
Email: jelila@jelila.com
Website: www.jelila.com or www.imagine-retreats.com
