You will probably have heard about the ‘Venus eclipse’
that happened on June 8th for the first time in over a century.
Since then, Venus has been moving backwards in an astrological
sense, causing us to look anew at what we really want in relationships,
and finally going forward into a new more progressive phase
of relating from 30th June, which lasts through the summer.
One of the key ‘themes’ of the eclipse is ‘integrity
in relationships’. Any relationships that are
not based on integrity are likely to suffer or fall away.
So, it’s a good time to talk about what we really want,
and what we really feel!
This, perhaps is the essence of ‘integrity’ –
feeling and speaking our truth, being honest about what we
feel and want, in all we speak and do. Why is that often
so difficult? Well, I suppose there are two stages:
the first is in getting in touch with what we want.
The second is in expressing it.
Meditation - ‘How do you feel?’
The Solar Plexus is an important centre in the body, located
immediately beneath the rib cage. Relax and rest your
hand there – it’s a good way to get in touch with
your ‘gut feel’ which is what this centre is really
about. Relax and get in touch with any area in your
life in which you feel uncomfortable. Why? Now
feel. Feel. Feeeeel! Get in touch with your
feelings. Not your thinkings! How does your heart
feel? Place your other hand there and feel. If
you are faced with choices, imagine a possible outcome of
your choice, imagine yourself being in the future with it
like that, and feel. This is a good way to work out
whether something is good for you or not. Does it feel
‘clean’ and simple? If so, then you are
probably ‘in integrity’. If not, consider
another choice and feel that one.
The Sincerity of Integrity
Where we have situations in our lives which are ‘untruthful’
we always know, on a deeper level. However much we may
justify to our selves – ‘oh well, no-one will
find out about it’ or ‘oh, it doesn’t really
matter it’s only a small thing’ – we know
really in our hearts when something isn’t right.
The result is, that it drains our energy, makes us tired,
is a nagging weight that we are carrying around. Better
to try to clear such things so that we are freer and lighter
to carry on our lives. This may involve a ‘transition
period’ through a certain amount of difficulty –
things may need to be faced, we may need to talk to certain
people and share our honest feelings, even apologise or ask
for forgiveness. If this feels daunting, again, use
the meditation above and imagine how you will feel when the
situation is cleared. This may be enough to give you
the motivation to go through with it – you are likely
to feel a tremendous uplift and release of energy!
Sharing Feelings
Many people find sharing their feelings somewhat challenging.
Saying ‘I don’t want you to do that’ or
‘that doesn’t feel right for me’ or even
the seemingly innocuous ‘I care about you’ can
be daunting. This is usually because there is a fear
of rejection – fear that the person being spoken to
will respond negatively, or react in a ‘difficult’
way. If this leads to us not sharing our feelings, we
risk living in a rather brittle, unreal world, where no-one
is quite sure of what is really going on for the other person!
However intuitive we may be, there is still no better substitute
for honest exchange of views than talking honestly!
Try to find the courage to practise sharing how you really
feel. Begin sentences ‘I feel....’
and then say how it is for you. It will get easier with
practise. Place your hand on your solar plexus if it
helps (you may find you do this without even thinking!)
How to handle a ‘negative reaction’
People around you may react negatively to your honesty, especially
if they are not used to it. Stick with it, they will
come to appreciate it in time! And so will you as your
life becomes easier and more flowing. A useful technique
is ‘stuck record’ – just listen politely
to the outburst, and then calmly repeat your feelings, wants
and needs again, without making any apology for having them!
Continue this process until you are heard. Then have
a breathing space and allow the other person to express theirs
as you really listen.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful ‘tools’
for releasing stuck energy and allowing everyone to move on.
Being ‘willing to forgive’ is also extremely powerful.
Where you feel stuck with somebody or a situation, say ‘I
am willing to forgive you, x (person, situation, both)’
it is deeply transforming. You do not necessarily need
the person in front of you – in fact it works even if
they are unavailable or even already dead. Visiting
someone in person and asking for forgiveness is also deeply
transforming for everybody.
It’s worth having a little ‘life review’,
noticing any areas where we feel uncomfortable or unclean,
and having a ‘clean up’! Let’s move
into honesty and integrity in our relationships!
NEXT ISSUE: Positive Thinking
Jeli welcomes comments and may be contacted on:
Email: jelila@jelila.com
Website: www.jelila.com or www.imagine-retreats.com
