Loving yourself. Two little words yet how difficult
is it to do? I suppose first we must get over the ‘I’m
not worthy’ stuff that many of us suffer from.
The stuff that perhaps comes from unaware parenting that damaged
us when we were small, told us we were ‘stupid’
or ‘no good’ or ‘bad’... The
truth is we are ‘great!’ ‘stupendous!’
and ‘marvellous!’ but have just forgotten.
The truth is, we ARE God, just popped into the body for a
sojourn in the great play and experience space of life, before
returning to the beautiful light blobness of Godness!
Take a deep breath, and feel for a moment, the wonder of you!
Feel how it is to be you. The unique being, only one
ever in the world like this, in this unique body. Wow!
How beautiful you are! How special!
Imagine you are your own best friend. Imagine you are
sitting next to yourself, looking at you. What would
you say? What would you do? What would you admire?
What would you give to yourself? Often we are so hard
on ourselves! We give easily to others, but what can
we give to ourselves? What do you really need that you
don’t have? What would you just love to have or
do? Can you give it to yourself now?
Often, we tend to give nothing or little to ourselves, give
everything outside of ourselves, to others. And then
expect the person we are in relationship with to fulfil our
needs. Wrong!! Or at least, perhaps not the best
way! We need to give everything that we need to ourself.
Then, the relationship is a place for sharing and loving and
creating happiness out of wholeness, rather than needing anything.
I realised I have always found my sense of safety from relationship.
In other words, I used relationship as a base from which I
could go out into the world, expecting the other person to
make me feel safe. What do you expect to get from your
relationship, when you are in one? Now realise I can
just give myself a sense of safety. I’m strong
enough to do that, it’s not actually difficult!
What could you give yourself that would make you somehow self-sufficient?
The result is a huge gift – suddenly one no longer needs
a relationship. What a freedom! And being in a
relationship becomes a form of advanced choosing – you
are choosing to be with the other person, moment to moment,
rather than needing to be there! Although it sounds
a bit detached, in actual fact it becomes a huge compliment
– choosing to be there, rather than having to be there!
‘ Loving Yourself’ Exercise
In a relaxed place, take pen and paper and write ‘I
am...’ and then fill in some of the great things you
are and do. ‘I am powerful’, ‘I am
generous’ ‘I love the way I...’ Keep
writing till you fill a page. Then sit and read it aloud
to yourself, appreciating... you! If you want to take
it a stage further, you can write about the things you don’t
appreciate or like about yourself, and then try appreciating
those as well!
Giving To Yourself
Here’s another exercise. If you were to begin
giving to yourself the things you want someone else to give
you:
– Write down.. the
steps you would take
– The gifts you
would buy
– The generosity
you would bestow
– The kindness you
would offer
– The enthusiasm
you would have
– The attention
you would give
– And anything else
that appeals to you!
From ‘Be the person you wish to find’ by Cheri
Huber, ISBN 0-9636255-2-7.
Loving Treat
Another great thing for loving yourself is – take yourself
out on a date! Ask yourself what you would really love
to do – then take yourself out and do it! This
is a solo exercise so we don’t get mixed up in what
others want. This date is about you, nobody else!
Could be, go swimming, go for a walk, meditate, join a ballet
class... invite yourself, and then do it!
Falling in Love with You
Do some of those ‘in love’ things, that you would
normally do when you are in love with another person, but
do them for yourself! Write yourself a poem, a song.
Buy yourself roses, chocolates. Gaze in the mirror at
your beautiful eyes... It may sound silly but I promise you,
loving yourself is the greatest gift that you can give not
only to you, but to your partner and to everyone around you,
for it will set you free, and set them free too!
Hey beautiful luminous being
Love is who you are
Compassion is every scent of your being
You’re a shining lovely star...
Have fun romancing you!
NEXT ISSUE: Taking Time Off
Jeli Lala is an intuitive visionary with a playful and creative
approach to healing. Her gifts of channeling light and information
from other realms and her loving sensitivity have helped many
people along their path to wholeness.
Jeli welcomes comments and may be contacted on:
Email: jelila@jelila.com
Website: www.jelila.com or www.imagine-retreats.com
