Igniting the spark between the sexes – the dance of natural attraction
In the beginning was Adam and Eve. In the magical garden. She was the perfect expression of the feminine, he the masculine, everything was in balance. But not much was happening! Then, kapow! Eve ate the apple, the masculine and feminine separated, polarity got created and sex became necessary as a way we could re-join and also reproduce ourselves. Wow!
With the splitting of us into separate masculine and feminine beings, came the experience of polarity, and attraction, as a masculine essence attracts a feminine one, and vice versa.
If your relationship lacks zing, then you have probably simply lost polarity. Think of magnets – unlike poles attract, like poles repel. We each naturally have either a ‘masculine sexual essence’ or a ‘feminine sexual essence’ (whether we are actually masculine or feminine, gay or heterosexual). A feminine essence is one that is receptive, for example you enjoy your partner surprising you with weekend plans and whizzing you off to have fun etc. A masculine essence is active and enjoys creating activities and plans. We all have a mode of being that is most comfortable for us and most fulfilling.
When relationships are in balance and each partner is in their ideal natural way of being, enjoyment and fulfilment is the result. The dance of relationship is the building up of ‘charge’ – the electrical exciting feeling of attraction, which is created by the polar opposites. The active, in the masculine and the receptive in the feminine. So if he bounds home with a wonderful plan for dinner (active) and she trounces his plan and puts her own forward (active) a loss of polarity and therefore attraction, is the result. If she receives his plan (receptive), then polarity charge is created off they go and have a great time, and the attraction builds. This is not to say that she can’t organise events and experiences, it’s just awareness of keeping the polarity happening that has a great effect on the enjoyability of the relationship.
If you are not experiencing enough sex in your relationship, look at what is happening with your polarity and attraction. Maybe you are not creating or allowing any? Maybe the masculine person is acting like the feminine, and vice versa?
When there is a lost of trust, the feminine person often stops being receptive and takes the active role. Kind of ‘you can’t please me, so I’ll please myself’. This is destructive as it de-polarises and disempowers the male, who then becomes even less active! It is a spiral where the feminine exhausts herself as the masculine sits around, and then they wonder why they aren’t attracted to each other any more! If this happens to you, you need to encourage the appropriate behaviour in your partner. Ladies, by inviting (not ordering, that’s active!) your partner to please you with various small things that you gracefully ask for. Keep asking, gracefully, until he does something that pleases. Then give appreciation, which is vital for men and stokes the fire of their loving desire. Generally men need trust, appreciation, respect, love. They need to be appreciated for what they do and provide (the active principle). Women need love, and need to be complemented for who they are (for their beauty, radiance, etc). We are different but unfortunately, because we express love in different ways, sometimes we miss the love that is being directed to us! A useful conversation is one where each person expresses how they like to receive love. It can be a surprising and teary eye-opener, as each partner realises that lots of love was being directed to them all along, they just couldn’t see it!
Guys, to get your feminine partner to receive you, you may need to take control and sweep off her feet. Overcome her protests with your loving humour and create something that you both enjoy!
This dance of the masculine providing and the feminine receiving and then giving appreciation is deeply satisfying and fulfilling for both parties. It is described very well in John Gray’s book ‘Mars and Venus on a Date’ which I recommend as it shows how it works in practise. David Deida’s books are also excellent.
So when you get it right, and attraction and charge builds sufficiently, the couple will want to express it sexually.
But have you ever considered what orgasm actually is? Do you know? Orgasm is merely the release of energy or charge that has been built up in the body. At orgasm, natural life force energy (known as prana, or chi) is released and floods the body where it can be directed to any area for healing and renewal, as well as feeling pleasurable! During sex, the charge is released and so, afterwards there is a natural low as the polarity again drops, ready to be re-charged through the ever-continuing dance!
NEXT ISSUE: Reprogramming
Jelila is a gifted natural intuitive presently in Byron Bay, Australia on 0410 495 139. She sings you back to health and harmony using her heavenly voice and the natural vibration of crystals.
Jelila welcomes comments and may be contacted on:
Email: jelila@jelila.com
Website: www.jelila.com or www.imagine-retreats.com
