Feeling ‘not good enough’ is very common. As a child, we have often been criticised by our parents, told off, told we should, could, must, be and do better. And often this results in the extremely damaging sub-conscious belief ‘I’m not good enough, and nothing I do is ever good enough’. The result is that we feel dissatisfied with ourselves, and with everything we ever do. It is a hard existence! If you have this belief, you will find it very difficult to complete anything (because, if you complete it, it will not be good enough… at least, if it is incomplete, you have an excuse.) You may go from project to project, never be able to rest, admire your creation, say ‘I did that!’ and feel proud. Your negative belief will be projected outwards and you will feel dissatisfied with your partner, your friends. Nothing about them will be ‘good enough’ either. Your partner cries ‘you’re never satisfied!’. You feel guilty you are ‘not doing enough’. Nothing is ever enough.
If this sounds like you, and you would like to free yourself to relax and enjoy the many good things which, no doubt, you have created, read on. But first, a bit more about this belief, because it is an important one, with important consequences.
If you think about it, ‘I’m not good enough, and nothing I ever do is ever good enough’ is a total negation of self. The entire self has been rejected, and consigned to the scrap heap. Maybe Mum or Dad criticised something about you when you were a small child, and as a result, you have decided that you are completely worthless and shouldn’t be here.
This is a major belief, perhaps the deepest, biggest one that I have discovered. Emanating out from it, like the branches coming from a sturdy tree trunk of negation, are others, such as ‘I’m not worthy’, ‘I’m stupid’, ‘I’m ugly’, ‘no one understands me’ and so on. However the reason for these beliefs is… ‘because I’m not good enough and nothing I do is ever good enough’. Change the ‘tree trunk’ level belief and the branches above it are also relieved.
What happens when we reject ourselves?
When we make an important negative decision about ourselves, it is painful. We make the decision – for example ‘I’m not good enough’. This is a huge decision, a complete rejection of self. Then the conscious mind looks at it and goes ‘argh!! That’s awful! I can’t live with that! I’ll put it away!’ And shoves it out of harm’s way, into the sub-conscious mind. It remain in the subconscious, stored in our aura, the magnetic field around the body, where it delicately blinks away as a ‘truth’. Our lives reflect that ‘truth’. However, we are not aware that it is true for us, because we have rejected it and shoved it into a dark hole.
The process for changing it is NOT to go around saying ‘I feel good about myself’ fifty times. Positive affirmations do not work. They just overlay on top of what our sub-conscious KNOWS is true – which is ‘I’m not good enough’. The way to clear a belief is simply to go into the dark cupboard, pull out the belief. Bring it into awareness, and say, yes! This has been true for me. I acknowledge it and surrender to it. In this instant, as we embrace it, the belief’s power magically goes ‘ping!’ and it is no longer true for us. You may feel an energy shift as you do it (heaviness or lightness in your aura, a feeling of movement).
Please note that in embracing a negative belief we are not condoning it. We are merely bringing it into the light and acknowledging it so that it can be changed.
The only good thing about the ‘I’m not good enough’ belief is that it is incredibly motivating! People with the belief often have highly developed talents in diverse areas, from trying to ‘prove they are good enough’. However, they never get to stop and enjoy what they have created! If you think you may have this belief, do the process. It will not hurt you to do it, if it is not true for you. And if it is true, it will have a major beneficial effect on your life.
Here’s the process. As you are saying the belief, try to feel how you feel when you are ‘not good enough’. As you say ‘I embrace it’, imagine you are hugging a crying three year old. Ready to change your life for the better? Let’s go:
Simply say out loud ‘I choose to believe I’m not good enough, and nothing I do is ever good enough. I love myself when I believe I’m not good enough, and nothing I do is ever good enough. And I embrace it, I surrender.
Relax, drink some water, and feel how it feels to be good enough. You only need do it once. In the following days, you may notice specific areas where you feel ‘not good enough’ and you can repeat the process on those if you want. For example ‘I choose to believe I don’t look good enough’… etc.
On clearing this one, you may begin to relax and enjoy feeling satisfied with the fruits of your labours, rather than endlessly rushing around trying to prove that you are ‘good enough’.
Enjoy being good enough! It is your birthright.
*thanks to Phillip Arndt for this process.
NEXT ISSUE: Past Lives. Discovering who you are…
Jelila is an internationally renowned healer presently in London, offering individual energy healing, past lives, negative belief clearing. Workshop: Having it All Now! Discover how to create everything you ever wanted. Thursday 6th October, 6pm-8pm, details online.
The Holistic Healing Centre, Kuta (Behind Dijon at Kuta Roundabout.) Book now for individual sessions and workshop: 0361 766259 w: www.jelila.com (see full healing menu online) e: jelila@jelila.com.
Jelila welcomes comments and may be contacted on:
Email: jelila@jelila.com
Website: www.jelila.com or www.imagine-retreats.com
