Mum. Washing the dishes. Organising the clothes for school, busy whizzing to her job wearing smart clothes, Fitting in cooking the dinner and cleaning the house. Multi-tasking to create time to play games. Looking after the children. Making something of herself. Keeping Dad in line.
Cast your mind back to when you were a child. What was the movie you were watching, of your Mum?
Mother Meditation
Close your eyes, relax, breathe, feel safe, and allow yourself to float back to when you were a child. Float above situations and watch your mother interacting with you. Notice how it was. Journey to different times and situations, watching your mother talking to you, noticing her expressions, seeing what she is doing, hearing what she is saying. Gently return to the room.
You have just observed ‘the mother within’, an important archetype of love and relationship (father represents work and success).
Beliefs that you hold about ‘mother’ are also true for anyone that activates your ‘mother archetype’. This means anything that is true for you about ‘mother’ will also be true for you about anyone who reminds you of her. Anyone you are having a relationship with, and importantly, for men, your partner. Notice any females in your life that you are having difficulties with. Do they remind you of your mum?
Revealing the Inner Programming
Take a moment with pen and paper and write a list of what was true for you about your mum when you were a child. For example:
My mother is angry
My mother is harsh
My mother likes me but she doesn’t want me around
My mother doesn’t listen to me
My mother thinks I’m stupid
My mother doesn’t have time for me
My mother loves me (or doesn’t)
My mother is kind... etc
Try it. Don’t judge it. It may fill pages. For women, you are revealing how you behave in relationship and with your children. For men, you are revealing what drives your choice of partner and what you attract in relationship. Once you become conscious of it, you can change it.
Any ‘faults’ you see in your mother are also your internalised faults. If you are male, try substituting the name of your partner for ‘my mother’. Is the programming still true for you? If it is, then you are projecting your inner mother outwards and recreating her in your life.
How to Change a Belief
To free yourself, you can change any beliefs about mother by acknowledging and embracing them. This turns the belief off. Simply say out loud ‘I choose to believe…my mother is angry. I love myself when I believe…my mother is angry. And I embrace it, I surrender. Do this for each belief that you feel is negative and it will turn it off. You only need do it once. Your experience of the women around you will magically change. If you’re a woman, you may find yourself changing.
If you keep going with recording these beliefs, you may ultimately uncover some surprising ones, the very root of the war of the sexes – ‘I am at war with my mother, my mother is at war with me’. Settle the inner war to create peace in the world. Literally. We project it outwards.
A client who I helped to clear a long list of sub-conscious beliefs was amazed when she returned to her family in the UK and found there was no ‘charge’ on their interactions any more. She could just be there without getting stressed or in an argument. This is the power of changing sub-conscious beliefs.
My Mother Likes Me, But She Doesn’t Want Me Around – The Male Commitment Phobia Puzzle Revealed
All children will at times receive the message ‘I like you, but I don’t want you around’ from their busy mother. Interestingly this sub-conscious programming has different results for male and female children (because it’s coming from the same sex or opposite sex parent).
With females, the belief manifests when they are later interacting with other females. It creates the ‘teenage girl’ scenario – the bitchiness, leaving one girl out from the crowd etc. I like you but I don’t want you around.
With males, however, coming from the opposite sex parent, the belief affects how the male interacts with other females in relationship. This belief creates the push/pull ‘I like you but I don’t want to be with you’ commitmentphobe scenario that drives women mad! Little did we know we are creating this with our sons! If you want to, change the belief using the process: – ‘I choose to believe my mother likes me but doesn’t want me around. I love myself when I believe my mother likes me but doesn’t want me around. I embrace it, I surrender.’ Enjoy!
NEXT ISSUE: Healing your Relationship Movie
Jelila is an internationally renowned healer presently in Bali, offering individual transformational psychic healing, past lives, belief clearing, distance healing, and workshops. Tel: 081 239 43354.
Bookings & Healing CDs: The Holistic Healing Centre, Kuta (Behind Dijon at Kuta Roundabout.) • 766259
w: www.jelila.com (see full healing menu online)
e: jelila@jelila.com.
Jelila welcomes comments and may be contacted on:
Email: jelila@jelila.com
Website: www.jelila.com or www.imagine-retreats.com
