Cast your mind back to when you were a child. What was the movie you were watching of your parents’ relationship? Gone With The Wind? Mary Poppins? The Addams Family? The Waltons? Or even Psycho? The ‘movie’ profoundly affects your present relationships. Discover how to change your inner movie and create your dream relationship…
Parents’ Relationship Meditation
Relax, breathe, and find yourself in your own movie house. Gently float back to your childhood and watch movies of your parents relating. What are they doing? How are they behaving together? What are they saying? What’s the feeling? Continue watching. Float to other times and watch more. Gently return. Write down a few words summarising your parents’ behaviour. This is your present relationship model.
The Model
In childhood, everything around us is just ‘normal’. In a nuclear family, we are unaware of other possibilities. Whatever our parents enact goes straight into our sub-conscious and becomes our internalised relationship model. This is the model we re-create in our own relationships. Because we are dependent on our parents, our thinking is ‘my parents must love each other, because they are together and this is how they behave, so this must be what love is’. Not necessarily…
Other Models of Loving
Children from divorced families are fortunate in that they get to experience more than one model. More than one set of parents equals a wider experience. If you are divorced or separated with children, consider that rather than being a wicked parent, you are giving your children the gift of more than one relationship model to experience and learn from. Even more importantly, such children gain the awareness that more than one model exists! Giving them more choices and awareness in their own relationships later. The greatest gifts we give our children are the models of how to behave, and of what is possible. What are you presently modeling?
Reprogramming The Inner Relationship
List your feelings about your parents’ relationship when you were a child, without judgement. Don’t sugar-coat it. Allow what you remember to come out. Eg:
My father was mean to my mother
My mother let my father push her around
Dad was lazy and didn’t help
They were happy when they were gardening
Dad rarely took Mum out
Mum made most of the effort and Dad just ignored her
He didn’t cuddle her much
My parents were loving and kind etc..
Don’t worry about contradictions. Underline anything ‘bad’ that you don’t want in your own relationship. And write another list of what you DO want:
I want to be free in my relationship
I want to be nurtured and loved
I want fulfilling sex etc etc.
Now, a powerful meditation that re-builds your inner relationship model. Enabling you to attract the kind of relationship you really want. Ready?
Rebuilding Your Inner Relationship Model the way YOU want it
Relax, breathe, and gently drift back to when you were a child, watching your parents relating. Now, using the material from the past, begin to rebuild it into a positive model of how you would have loved your parents relationship to be. How would you like your Dad to have been? Feel free to change anything about him that you want. Change his face, appearance, make him a different person if you want. Film-star is fine! Follow your intuition. See him loving your Mum. See your parents in the perfect living space you choose. Allow expansion and improvement. How would you like your Mum to look? Change everything and carry on playing with it until you feel good about it all. Visit different times in your childhood and create ideal scenarios you would love. Choose locations, re-mould houses and living spaces, re-create mealtimes, family times, birthdays, events. Turn disasters into triumphs. See your new mother and new father loving each other, caring for each other and relating together in delightful and perfect ways. See them enjoying creating beautiful scenarios together. And see a beautiful version of your little self in there, enjoying and being loved in your perfect little bedroom and playspace with your friends. Ahh!
Take a deep breath, let go, and gently return. Resolve to return and re-create some more. Play with this meditation as often as you like. Create ever more wonderful experiences in your new childhood with your new parents. Do it at bedtime and invite your sub-conscious mind to work on it as you sleep.
This transforms your relationships in amazing ways. It is so much easier to change the inner plane, and let the effects flow out into the real world, rather than struggling with outer situations that already exist.
Enjoy having everything you ever wanted in relationship!
NEXT ISSUE: The Love Re-programming
Jelila is an internationally acclaimed healer presently in Bali, offering clairvoyant healing, past lives, negative belief clearing, transforming meditations, healing CDs, and workshops. Free Healing Circle on Sunday 21st August, 2-3pm, Holistic Centre.
At: The Holistic Healing Centre, Kuta (Behind Dijon at Kuta Roundabout.) Book now: 766259 Jelila: 081 239 43354 w: www.jelila.com (see full healing menu online) e: jelila@jelila.com.
Jelila welcomes comments and may be contacted on:
Email: jelila@jelila.com
Website: www.jelila.com or www.imagine-retreats.com
