Category: Fixed Abode

George Bernard Shaw said “there´s only a few things wrong with England: the people, the place and the weather”. He was English, I´m English and I couldn´t agree more. It was so drizzly and damp you could take the goldfish for a walk. But rain in England was nothing compared with tropical rain. Here in […]

My phone rang. A woman with a heavy European accent spoke. “ I vant a man” she said. “A man?” I said. ”An electrician! Do you haf von, can e come now?” “Yes madam, what is your problem?” “My eelectricity bill, it eez veery large.” “How large?” “Well usually it eez fife undred zousand Rupiah […]

Cedric rang. “I’ve got fur in my kettle” he said. “Does your tea tickle your palette?” I politely enquired. “No, why do you ask?” he said. “Forget it.” I said. “Rats a problem? Do you need pest control or is that huge hairy hound of yours drinking out of it?” (He does have rather a […]

We English people have a wonky gene you know. It has been officially named Genus Grumblinus but I call mine Fred. Scots, Irish and even Welsh people don’t have it but I am not sure about the Aussies, they certainly are very quick to recognise a winger and as they say “it takes one to […]

Are you feeling grounded? It is an important question. Being grounded keeps the bad feelings away, you know those warm fuzzy feelings you get from an overdose of electrons that are all excited and nowhere to go. Electrons like to go home to their mother, mother earth that is, and in their enthusiasm can be […]

I recently got a call from a man with cracks in his house. He sits in his living room with a pleasant breeze and a nice view across the countryside but he has to admit he is a bit worried. You see there isn’t a window on that side of his house. He has built […]

I recently met a couple visiting Bali. The man was not happy, “I’ve got Bali belly” he said. “It must have been that warung we went to last night”. “It’s usually the water that gets you” I replied. Years ago I had learned the hard way. When I first came to Indonesia in the 70’s […]

You remember those old rust buckets made by a well known British company that had the cheek to call itself a car maker? No wonder that well known company went to carmaker heaven many eons ago. Once I was young and idealistic. I actually believed that large corporations could be trusted to do the right […]

Have you noticed? The Balinese don’t like rain, they don’t drink rainwater and they certainly don’t like it on their heads. It is something to do with picking up evil spirits on it’s way from the sky. I picked up an evil spirit the other day, it was supposed to be gin and tonic but […]