I was speaking with someone the other day who shared her story. She told me that she was broken hearted because the man she loved walked out on her and her son. They had been living together when she got pregnant which was a surprise, as she was 44 years old and didn’t intend to have any more children. Yet, here she was at a huge crossroads in her life asking herself, “Should I keep this child or terminate the pregnancy?” It is a horrible place to be in. But this story isn’t so much about her choice to keep the child or terminate the pregnancy – it is about the abuse that she went through with her partner who bullied her every day, saying things like: “how can you do this to me?! You have to terminate your pregnancy now! You couldn’t possibly raise another child. Look how messed up your own son is.”
I share this story not to condemn her partner, but to illustrate how abuse can take all forms. The damage this kind of emotional/mental abuse that was blasted at her had huge ramifications. She decided to terminate the pregnancy because she felt totally unsupported, unloved and dishonored. Not long after this termination her partner left her even though he had promised to stay if she chose to terminate her pregnancy. She was totally lost and fell into a deep depression. Sadly this man continued to abuse her with nasty text messages and phone calls. She felt herself falling deeper and deeper into a well of emptiness that she finally decided to go on anti-depressants so she could function in her life.
For me this is a clear example of anti-conscious behavior. If her partner had stopped to think for just one moment about the damage he was doing to her perhaps that would have been pause enough to react/act differently? Eckhart Tolle, gives a very cogent and clear explanation of how people react from their ‘pain bodies’. This is an energetic body that consists of all our painful and damaging lifelong experiences that we have not healed or resolved. Over time, we continue to have more painful experiences that add greater density to our pain bodies unless we can discover how to heal and release our wounds. Those with very dense pain bodies are easily triggered by any little thing. This causes them to become defensive or abusive towards another. Often these outbursts are totally irrational, because the person is reacting from a place of old pain or trauma. We all have pain bodies that vary in density, which may cause us to react in unkind or hurtful ways. However, if we choose to go deeper and discover our core wounds, we can then heal them and move into a place of greater consciousness.
I’m truly disturbed by how much anti-consciousness exists in our world. Masses of people function from their ‘anti-consciousness’ and are unwilling to change. Just because someone says, “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean it. I didn’t realize that yelling at you would hurt you so much,” doesn’t make it okay. Now more than ever before we all need to choose to live our lives consciously. Buddhism gives us guidance on how we can live our lives consciously by choosing our thoughts, words, actions and non actions. I know this is not an easy ask, yet if we commit to doing this it will become easier with practice. Consciousness is the willingness to see how what we say or do has an effect on others. Every day I walk down my gang and usually see an old Balinese woman putting out frangipani flowers on a sheet to dry in the sun. Every time she sees me she smiles and says hello and I smile back and say hello too.
This simple interaction brings a lightness of being to us both. In this interaction, we share a mutual respect of one another and create a connection if only briefly. It is so true that energy follows our thoughts. Another story I’d like to share is of a father and son. One night the father and son were watching a movie together but the father was distracted. He was on his mobile phone looking at Facebook and not really present at all. The son was disappointed but didn’t say anything as he sat silently watching the movie. Then their big Rottweiler came up with a drooling mouth wanting to be with the family. The father yelled at the dog and pushed him away and the son also yelled too. The father misunderstood the boy’s actions thinking he was calling the dog to him which made the father mad, as he thought his son was going against his actions and disrespecting him. In that moment there was no consciousness as he hit the boy on the side of the head. It seemed to come out of nowhere. The father yelled, “why do you disrespect me?! I told the dog to go and you called him!” The boy buried his face in the sofa pillows and began crying. The damage had been done. This is how negative imprints are created in our subconscious; once this occurs it’s very hard to clear them but it’s possible.
Imagine what the world would look like if we all chose to live consciously? If we rewrite these stories, then the boyfriend who abused the girlfriend would support her to make her own choice with the pregnancy and even if he didn’t want to stay with her, he at least didn’t make her wrong for her choice. The father, who hit the son, might choose instead to hug his son and tell him that he was having a hard day. This positive action would then create a connection between them and a deepening of their love. What choice can you make today that will contribute to someone’s life?
Yes we can have paradise on earth but for that to be so, we all must choose consciousness.
Copyright © 2017 Michele Cempaka
Michele is a Shaman, hypnotherapist, Consciousness Facilitator, and retreat leader in the international arena. Her highly empathic nature and inherent gifts as a healer, together with her extensive training in a wide variety of healing methods enables her to assist people with numerous issues spanning from anxiety, low self esteem, emotional traumas and much more. She offers private sessions, workshops & retreats on and off Bali. Michele loves facilitating a different possibility for everyone she encounters. www.spiritweaverjourneys.com
For questions or comments about this column, please email: mcempaka@gmail.com