The Joy Of Senior Sex

When you were a teenager or young adult did you ever consider if your parents were still having sex? What about the elderly couple who lived down the street? Or was the thought of that just too yucky? Well now that we’re in that age category, are you still enjoying a healthy and happy sex life?

Did you know that an active sex life may provide benefits like improved self-esteem, better sleep, and greater overall well-being? Even well into old age, sex can boost a person’s health and happiness. That’s why any idea that sex and aging don’t go together is simply an old wives tale. For a lot of seniors, making love after 60 is a joyful and necessary feature of living especially after the kids have moved out of the house.

After a long period without a partner I went on a dating website and met a 71 year old man. An attraction developed and we met a few weeks later. When we finally made love we were both amazed at how great it was. Suddenly we were behaving like teenagers with a voracious sexual appetite. He had suffered from heart failure 18 months earlier and had done lots of research to keep his heart pumping at optimum. Changing his diet and exercise program plus eating foods like ginger, guava, pumpkin seeds, cordyceps sinensis, egg yolks, celery, beetroot juice, honey, shrimp, broccoli, bananas and dark chocolate to keep his arteries clean and increase the blood flow to his heart. A delightful side effect is an increased blood flow to his private parts. Whatever is good for your heart is good for your penis.

Many older men suffer from erectile dysfunction from time to time, which can often be effectively treated. In fact, by treating underlying physical or emotional problems, many men are able to restore some or all of their erectile function.

For older women, sexual health is also affected by lower hormone levels. That’s why vaginal dryness is very common. After menopause, many women naturally produce less of their own lubrication. Their vaginas also become thinner and less elastic as they get older. I discovered virgin coconut oil as a lubricant which worked wonders.


What can you do to improve your sex life?

  1. Alter your lovemaking routine

For couples who have been together for a long time, sex can become predictable. Simple things like changing your time of day to have sex or different days. If you usually have sex in the evening, try the morning or afternoon. Some other things to try: different rooms in the house, new positions, fantasy role-playing, dates that involve one partner giving pleasure and the other receiving. It’s important to give your partner feedback what you liked best or didn’t like.


  1. Increase your activity level

Frequent exercise helps many people improve their libido and sexual performance. Regular exercise can increase your overall energy level, self-confidence and blood circulation. It’s good for your heart so it’s good for your sexual health.


  1. Bring out the sex toys

Toys aren’t just for “Kids”. Vibrators and other sex toys can really benefit older persons because they need more stimulation to become aroused with or without a partner. Men can also take advantage of sex toys to maintain an erection.


  1. More orgasms – less expectations

By eliminating expectations, you free yourself and your partner from the burden of goals and assumption. Focus on connecting with your partner and exploring pleasure rather than expecting to achieve a certain outcome. When people let go of their sexual expectations, they’re more likely to experience orgasms. Relax and have fun with your partner.

Remember you don’t have to engage in any kind of penetration in order to have a satisfying sex life. Outercourse (sex without penetration) can be incredibly enjoyable. And you can still experience orgasms.


  1. Communication is the key to a happy partnership

Trust is vital in a good relationship, especially when it involves intimacy. This comes from open communication between the partners. It’s important to share your intimate feelings with your partner expressing things like your concerns and anxieties including sex-related problems, your desires and needs of how you want to be touched or what you’d like to try, your boundaries of what you never want to do and things you might be willing to try.

  1. Getting in the mood

Many older couples find getting aroused takes longer than when they were younger, so take the time to get in the mood by doing things with your partner before heading to the bedroom. Here’s some examples:

  • Dancing
  • Kissing
  • Cuddling
  • Flirting
  • Holding hands
  • Tickling each other
  • Sharing a warm bubble bath
  • Taking a steamy shower together
  • Gazing into each other’s eyes
  • Watching erotic movies together
  • Sharing a couple’s massage
  • Reading erotic literature to each other
  • Sharing romantic meals that include aphrodisiacs
  • Use your smart phone to send sexy text messages to each other. Don’t send long messages. Keep each of them short to encourage a lively back-and-forth exchange.


  1. Getting slippery

For Baby Boomers, plenty of lubrication is necessary. Older women often suffer from vaginal dryness, making sexual penetration painful without lubrication. Using lube is an easy way to make the whole experience more comfortable and pleasurable.


  1. Eat a healthy diet

Nutrition is important for sexual health. Many dietitians recommend foods that are low in saturated fat, sodium, and sugar but high in fiber, essential vitamins and minerals, and healthy, unsaturated fats. So eating a wide variety of fruits, vegetables, and nuts can be especially beneficial when it comes to boosting or sustaining your sexual health. In addition, it’s wise to limit your alcohol consumption to no more than about one drink per day.

Even if you’ve survived heart failure, cancer or another serious illness, never give up on enjoying the pleasure of love. It’s never too late.


By Shari

The Boomer Corner is a column dedicated to people over   60 living in Bali. Its mandate is to cover topics, practicalities, activities, issues, concerns and events related to senior life in Bali. We welcome suggestions from readers.

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