In 2014, I was invited to join a women’s empowerment group. This had always been a dream of mine to come together with other like-minded, conscious women who truly desired to support and empower one another. The new leader of our women’s group turned out to be pushy and several women felt bullied by her including me. I tried to speak honestly with her about this, but she became quite defensive and angry towards me.
A few weeks later she asked me to leave the group. She blamed me for all the problems the group was having and said it was my negative energy that was blocking the group from moving forwards. I was gutted – I felt totally disempowered and betrayed. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I could feel my original wound rising up again. How could I have been so wrong?
After our call, I sat down on my sofa feeling a deep despair. In that moment the energy waves powerfully thumped me like I’ve never experienced before; wave after wave of despair struck me in my heart center and flowed down the front of my body. This was beyond any feelings of depression or personal pain – I started to realize that I was feeling the collective despair of the all the women in the world who had been disempowered. I knew in that moment that I had agreed to facilitate this process for women everywhere, so that a new possibility of empowerment could be actualized for all of us. My tears flowed down my cheeks and on to my chest as I cried for a very long time for all of the women who had been bullied and betrayed. Kwan Yin had come to show me the despair that she transforms for everyone with her compassion and forgiveness.
It was not long after this experience that things took a turn for the worst. I was riding my motorbike home one night from a friend’s anniversary party. A friend offered me to stay the night at her place, but I politely declined saying that I preferred to go home. About 10 minutes from my house on a very dark road, a white dog suddenly appeared in front of my tire. There was no time to brake or slow down. Everything happened within seconds as my bike crashed into the dog and I slid with my bike across the road. I remember laying there unable to move thinking “Is this it? I’m okay if it’s time for me to go now.” Then suddenly a voice boomed in my head, “No! It’s not your time!” This meant I would suffer as I could feel I was injured badly. Some Balinese men saw me and came rushing into the road to pick me up. They carefully carried me and lay me down on the ground speaking in Bahasa Indonesian. I was semi conscious so I couldn’t comprehend or answer them at first. Finally I started to become more conscious and gave them my husband’s telephone number. I asked them what happened to the white dog I hit. None of them saw the dog which was odd.
My right shoulder had a bad brake and the doctor said I really needed surgery to repair the break properly. I refused and decided after three days to see a specialist. He told me that I didn’t have to have surgery, but it was unlikely that my arm would heal perfectly without it. I knew that this was my opportunity to trust in my own healing abilities, so I chose not to have surgery. Instead, every day I gave myself energy healing and took Chinese bone joining medicine. It was excruciating to heal myself, as I could actually feel the bones moving back into place. After six weeks, I decided it was time to get another x-ray to see the progress thus far. When the new doctor looked at my old x-ray, he said he would have absolutely advised me to get surgery. However, after looking at my new x-ray he was astounded by what he saw. My arm had nearly completely healed. There was only a thin gray line where the break once was and the bone that had been jutting out had moved back to its original place without any signs of being broken. He was totally baffled. I just smiled and said, “Positive thinking.” There were still many months of rehabilitating my muscles which had become quite stiff and weak from being constrained in a sling for so many weeks.
Several months later I had a reading with a lovely psychic reader. When I told her about my accident she looked at me and said, “That wasn’t an accident. You know the woman. She sent you that energy to kill you, but you’re no longer in contact with her.”
Her words struck me and in that moment I knew who she was referring to – it was the woman who had bullied me and the other women in the Women’s Empowerment group. A part of me was horrified to think that someone wanted to kill me. I felt anger rising within me as I asked, “Why did she do this?”
“You were a threat to her authority. She was not really holding the feminine energies of empowerment but instead was still stuck in the masculine energies of domination. Your role in this situation was to help her realize this and change it, but instead she chose not to.”
I felt a profound sense of relief to know the truth of this whole situation that had occurred over one year affecting me and my family on so many levels. A few months afterwards, I had another psychic reading from a man in New York who told me almost exactly the same thing, although I didn’t reveal what the other psychic had said. There was no longer doubt in my mind that this was totally true. I had to make a choice about what to do:
- I could continue to hold on to my anger and unforgiveness.
- I could let it all go and move forwards in my life. With time and more self healing, I eventually let go of my anger and forgave this woman who I knew was deeply in pain. I began to feel compassion for her suffering and realized that she had attacked me because I had come into her life so she could see her pain and deep seated anger towards her mother and finally heal it. Just as she was a catalyst for me to truly be empowered and understand what true compassion is.
I have had several teachers in the past 15 years that have had a profound impact on my life. However, my biggest learning has come from the challenges and adversity that have arisen in my life that I have faced and overcome. More and more I understand how all of these challenging experiences are actually gifts which have facilitated deep transformation and empowerment. With each challenge I have become stronger through my willingness to learn and grow from the lessons that life brings me.
Instead of closing down, which many of us want to do when faced with challenges, let’s ask questions to help us understand how each difficulty in our lives has helped us rise higher and higher. It is incredible how life gives us exactly the lessons we need to expand our consciousness and open our hearts to become compassionate human beings. Every day I feel such gratitude for my life knowing that I can make a difference in the world with the work that I do facilitating consciousness and healing for myself and others.
Michele Cempaka is a Consciousness Facilitator, Shaman & retreat leader in the international arena. Her highly empathic nature and inherent gifts as a healer, together with her extensive training in a wide variety of healing methods enables her to assist people with numerous issues spanning from anxiety, low self esteem, emotional traumas and much more. Michele is a catalyst for transformation who loves facilitating a different possibility for everyone she encounters. www.spiritweaverjourneys.com
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Copyright 2017 Michele Cempaka